Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
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Top comments
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
tell her "well, I guess if I'm gay, we can't have sex anymore"
StopDropNRoll 11
Looks like a new car it is ^^
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Comments (86)
GodsLittleMistak 8
As long as it's not a 'powder-blue' prius... (Jeff Dunham reference...anyone...?)
KiddNYC1O 22
He sucks...
GodsLittleMistak 8
22-matter of opinion.
KiddNYC1O 22
True, that's why I opinionated.
santasadiekins 0
Next thing you'll be playing with dolls and puppets...and Soon you'll begin to worry that If you have to go through the airport, they may swab the puppets behinds...
z3n_fml 0
I don't think you should change your mind about getting a Green Car just because some gas guzzlers think you are gay. Thing about the environment and gas you will save. Go Prius Go
enopola 5
And remember to get those windows tinted nice and dark.
Peach3 1
Prius' are the Devil!! Dumb little cars...
graham11 14
Okay just because your accelerometer didn't work doesn't mean all priuses are bad!
Peach3 1
I'm just saying, it is worse for the environment to make them than it is good for the environment to drive them. Plus they look stupid!
graham11 14
How would you ever back up that reasoning??
fuckinehthatsuck 0
Who cares, if you like it, get it! There is always going to be someone who thinks differently about something you like. If you went by what others thought, there is basically nothing you can do. Just saying. p.s. you have a wife? you're fine.
cicpjaky 6
Your not alone my friend
heartlessj 8
this is just too easy
ninjuh_wingman 29
This makes no sense if people know you have a wife unless they think you married her so you appear straight.
cheeseboy77 0
drive a prius. so they think you're gay then? you're just smart by saving money on gas. I even got a discount on parking for owning one! save the environment! David Suzuki would approve!
xavierpineda2 4
Your man card has been indefinitely revoked. Your bitch card has been issued. ha, bitch!
bjr1208 3
Your funny card has been revoked and your dumbass card has been issued!
FlyingWhisps 5
What a loving wife you have there.