Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
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Top comments
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
tell her "well, I guess if I'm gay, we can't have sex anymore"
StopDropNRoll 11
Looks like a new car it is ^^
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Comments (86)
cyanidesandwich 21
Jeff Dunham has a prius, look at what he does for a living
Enslaved 38
But according to old man "Walter", Dunham is gay. That's why his wife divorced him. Lol
THE_A_TEEN 28
Walter has hated his wife throughout all of his marriage. What do you call that?
unhappybitch 8
Get a Nissan leaf?
kaykay20 0
The only worries is the price those lithium batteries it uses are why it's so expensive. You'd be better off with a average car with neat 30 or 40 to a gallon.
kaykay20 0
*near
bubo_fml 11
I got called a '******' once by a Harley biker for pulling up next to him on a rented Vespa w/ my scarf flapping in the breeze...Unfortunately for him, he didn't know I was a former all star American football linebacker...When I stood up, he shrank in terror, stammered out multiple apologies & offered to buy me drinks all night...A priceless memory!
THE_A_TEEN 28
Vespa? Scarf? All you need is a Rickenbaker 4001 guitar and you'll be Haruko Haruhara.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I guess no one appreciates a FLCL reference. Damn you guys...
FrankHotpants 31
I would go with a hummer...no one will question you then.
Eenonymous 1
Go for it, it sounds like you have an awesome wife who doesn't care about your sexual ambiguity, so what do you have to worry about?
vip3r20 8
lmao ur in Texas (lifted truck capital of the world), your name is Rich (or Richard meaning Dick) and you want a prius. yes if I was you I would be worried too.
vip3r20 8
lmao ur in Texas (lifted truck capital of the world), your name is Rich (or Richard meaning Dick) and you want a prius. yes if I was you I would be worried too.
JinxosGirl87 0
Pruis drivers like the smell of their own farts, or so says South Park. :P
graham11 14
You know the comment is going to be pathetic when you throw in a random quote that no one recognizes.
GothicAngel95 16
Heck as long as you don't get a powder blue priest op you*ll be fine