Today, I admitted to my wife that I'd really like to get a Prius, but I was worried that if I did, everyone would question my sexuality. She told me, "I don't know why you care, everyone already thinks you're gay." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML
Today, at 18, I finally told my mom I was gay. She spent the rest of the day bringing up my "future wife" at every possible chance she had. FML
Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML
Today, I told my girlfriend I wanted to tell her something important. Coincidentally, she did too. She wanted to tell me that she thinks she's actually gay. I wanted to tell her I love her. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
Today, my wife and I went shopping for new glasses at a local store, but we didn't really get to actually buying one. On our way back, she warned me that my glasses of choice should in no way be 'those big arty ones'. When I asked her why not, she told me that I 'look gay enough already'. FML
Today, I unintentionally came out as bi to my boss. He said he's fine with it and doesn't care either way, only that there is too much "gay propaganda" in the world and it shouldn't be shown and talked about so much. He also doesn't understand why I was reluctant to talk about my sexuality before. FML
Today, I asked out a coworker I really like. She gave me a weird look and said, "You're not gay?" I said no, to which she said, "Well, I am". As it turns out, I was the only one who thought she was straight, and the only one who thought I was straight. FML
Today, after weeks of summoning up the courage to come out of the closet to my best friend, I told her I was gay. Immediately after she started cracking up, thinking it was a joke. I was so confused and nervous, I went along with it. She still thinks I'm straight. FML
Today, I found out that my crush is a lesbian. Everyone knew about it. Everyone also knew that I liked her. No one told me. FML
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Top comments
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
tell her "well, I guess if I'm gay, we can't have sex anymore"
StopDropNRoll 11
Looks like a new car it is ^^
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Comments (86)
jasminea 0
as long as you know you aren't!
fastbunny 0
WTF vying Gina chaffinch
changesinme 0
Some guys would be glad to even afford a Prius
JustinComments 3
You know it's bad when your Wife says it..
EvilPotato 15
Make passionate love to her to convince her.
tehrealone 6
His names rich, short for Richard.. Which is short for dick. Who likes dick? I now understand this fml.. And I share with you my wisdom.
rallets 23
i have yet to meet a guy who wants a prius
urdirtyolduncle 15
67- Passionate love? How about ******* the crap out of her like a real man!
soccerguy2 11
But why does op think people will question his sexuality if he buys it? I never really heard that people who own a prius are gay.
rallets 23
well now you have *the more you know*
cheefer 0
Now you just stick it in her ass
blackheart24 10
My suburban shit a prius last night...
FarSide 23
Buy a Taurus. Everyone will think you are a middle aged guy who has given up hope of reaching his life's dream.
tx_beast 5
What a pussy. OP, the sad thing is that you live in Texas.... Your a disgrace to the best state.
missmurderx 8
120, yeah, because anal sex always proves ones heterosexuality.
Toowoo 3
Wait so you get called gay. And the first thing u do is fml it lol. Yougay bro?
ColdplaySucks 18
You better start acting up OP. That's the last thing I would want people thinking me as...
1miss_fortune3 0
@91 Women like guys who are willing and able to make love, not just rough sex. Stop watching **** and go talk to some real women if you're such a real man.
superrocket19 17
What's so bad about being gay?
StopDropNRoll 11
Looks like a new car it is ^^
fastbunny 0
Hiding ignorance HFCs huffy
rabbittboi 18
He needs to make a statement with a cherry-red Miata if he really wants to start a scandal.
rabbittboi 18
He needs to make a statement with a cherry-red Miata if he really wants to start a scandal.
mauk 0
You were street racing... In a prius?
gregorrok1 0
I wouldn't listen to your wife if she's admitting that she married someone she thought might be gay... There are obviously a few other things wrong with her
KiddNYC1O 22
It is funny-looking.
thisisafunnyname 12
it is a lunchbox!
graham11 14
34- what type of ******* lunch box do you have?
farhil 14
It's from Jeff Dunham... If you didn't figure that out yourself
MoZZie_fml 0
well stop bein gay
coltsrock37 15
I hate when people make snap judgements just because they "think" something is "gay." No thrill to a Prius though, man.
graham11 14
Exactly.. People jump to conclusions so quickly. I don't think there is anything wrong with a Prius. One of my good friends has a Prius and he is definitely straight! OP, don't care what people think!! :)
morgan020 0
Actually a Prius has a little more umph to it than most think. I have a 2010 and I love it. Much less space than my 07 Tahoe had but that 50mpg is awesome compared to the 12mpg I got before. Even my husband was surprised when we test drove it how it didn't just putt around and actually moved pretty quick. It did take a few months before my husband agreed to drive it though.
enopola 5
Still...gay
bjr1208 3
Nothin wrong with bein gay!
JustinComments 3
Try telling his wife that
MrsPegg 45
Well of course there's no problem being gay, but there's a problem with people assuming you're gay when your straight and married... I ****** hate assumptions; people need to just grow up and stop judging people before they even know one fact about the person they're judging! Fat, tall, short, ugly, gay, straight: all terms I think SOME people should keep out their mouths.
CryMoreFMLs 15
64 - Without assumptions, how would yoy ever assume that person might be a bad influence? Or maybe a trustworthy friend? Preferences vary, one mught assume you to be evil whereas the other assumes you to be the best thing to happen since buttered toast. Sometimes the saying is true, assumung makes an ass out of you and me, and we make the wrong assumption. We live and learn from our mistakes.
thiscrazything 1
Yep, it is just human nature to assume. We all do it, every day, to varying degrees.
tinydanzr 6
Are you gay #8?
I_EAT_KITTENS_FO 5
tell her "well, I guess if I'm gay, we can't have sex anymore"
reallytho3 11
Idk I hav a feeling tht could backfire...
graham11 14
A few weeks later... "I'm not gay anymore! I promise!!"
justanotherbird 19
Well, as long as you and your wife know you aren't. I could say that it doesn't really matter at all what other people think, but perception of ourselves by others affects us to some extent, so that can be a rough thing to hear. Anyone who acts like you are gay when you aren't isn't worth it though.
perdix 31
I drive a Prius and I'm not gay. Any guy who doesn't believe me can send their wife or girlfriend to me for a sleepover for proof. I'd think with both a gas engine and electric motor, the logic might be that the drivers are bisexual.
KiddNYC1O 22
Or hermaphrodite.
perdix 31
Really, the most logical stereotype would be cheapskate. Once, I drove it 55mph and I got 55 mpg! That's when gas was $4/gallon. Mileage like that is certainly boner-producing! I told everyone who would listen -- about my boner and my mileage.
Nutty4Muffs 3
I'm listening Perdix; tell me more. :)
KiddNYC1O 22
I had this conversation with one of my buddies from work today. Minus the boner of course. I said that hybrid car dealers charge you more for the car to compensate for what you don't pay on gas the first year or second or third.
KiddNYC1O 22
Hybrid cars cost more to compensate* I should say.
Epikouros 32
Sound logic, Perdix. Are you coming out as bi? I'm a bisexual who drives a hybrid bicycle (half road bike, half mountain bike). The only time I've been in a Prius was with my lover who thought he was gay before he married a woman. He was secure in his manhood and didn't need to compensate for anything. In fact, his manhood drew an admiring crowd at the local gay sauna.
graham11 14
A local gay sauna? I wonder how many of those there are in town..
MerrikBarbarian 9
If you live in a city, probably a few. Usually call them bath houses :p I'd never heard of them either til my sometime paramour ended up staying at one overnight after getting himself into a mess that left him the option of bath house or the street.
perdix 31
#37. I pumped up the front tires to 42 psi and the rear ones to 40. When I calculated my mileage, I didn't have a gauge handy to measure my penile pressure. Oh, yeah, I used pulse-and-glide whenever I had a chance. #59. Sorry to disappoint, but I still only go for the ladies. I think at my age, that's not likely to change. Thanks for your interest, though.
rabbittboi 18
66 - The SF Bay Area has about 8 million people. In that area, there are only 3 gay bath houses of note. That do wide spread advertising, that is. There's one mixed sex club, but it rumored to be mostly women, and there are 3 hetero-sex clubs. One would think more, huh?
perdix 31
"wide spread advertising?" I guess now we know where the Goatse guy works :)
rabbittboi 18
Ah, Perdix, I said "wide spread," not my sphincter will never be the same again. All the same, thanks for helping me remember a revolting image ;)
cheeseboy77 0
simply if perdix drives a prius. you can drive one too and still be awesome
morgan020 0
I drive a Prius too. But I'm a girl. I traded in a 07 LTZ Tahoe for a Prius and I love it. I miss the space but the 50mpg is amazing!! My husband has a suburban and a jeep so we still have the gas guzzlers covered but for me and the kids to run to town as take care of errands it's perfect. I do kinda wish I had held out for the V but oh well :)
Werman20 4
Priuses are in fact homosexual. Please don't be one of those or we might have to hunt you down and kill you.