Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
chili10 18
I told my mom that same thing except she told me that if she ever saw him again she would cut his balls off..
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
"Let's see, we've got lasagna, seafood, you're going to burn in Hell for ******* my daughter, enchiladas, tacos, pizza, and steak! Take you're pick."
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Comments (147)
mrsm13 11
lol love you too mom XD
wonderful_wendy 0
wait till your father finds out. He's gonna be dead.
kaylovely 0
bipolar
epic94 0
lol, at least you can walk away knowing your no longer a virgin xD
boopityboppity 11
Again, it's not a disease of which people should be cured.
Spastastic 6
But boopity... what if it is? And is it fatal? Am I dying??
boopityboppity 11
Oh, you're dying anyway. Sorry, but you spazzed to much. You thought that tea tasted of bitter almonds, didn't you?
Spastastic 6
Holy crap. I JUST drank a cup of tea. Seriously, I'm not joking.
boopityboppity 11
*Puts down binoculars* I know. *Puts on best Jason Bourne voice* Get some sleep. You look tired.
Spastastic 6
I... I am tired, actually... But then, I'm tired all the time.
boopityboppity 11
Cyanide often tastes of bitter almonds.
smurf1 0
I bet she poisoned his food! and by the way epic94 is hot
Cinn_fml 23
I'm not sure about tasting, but only half the population can actually smell cyanide.
Dudeitsnuri 0
haha I love double standards when my bestfriend told his dad that he slept with his gf. he hi5ed him and gave him 200$ to take us out to celebrate. lol
thomasday 7
YDI for having a mother.
happymollie 0
hahahahahahahahahaha
Justincolon22 15
ouch at least she sort of likes your boyfriend.
larissa132 0
that's really funny :)
DerFuhrer33 0
well thats parents for you