Today, I admitted to my mother that I've had sex with my boyfriend. She seemed to handle it well, but when my boyfriend came over, she condemned him to hell in between asking him what he would like to have for dinner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML
Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my family. Everything went well until my mum started hitting the brandy. While kicked back in her chair, she asked my boyfriend how satisfactory I was in bed, and if he enjoyed going down on me. FML
Today, I had to explain to my mother that it's inappropriate to hit on my boyfriend when his parents are over for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
Today, one of my mum's dinner guests walked in on me and my boyfriend kissing, only to let out a horrified scream. Apparently, my mum had introduced my boyfriend as her son, as she's embarrassed of my real brother. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
Today, I was in my bedroom with my boyfriend and we were kissing. My mom then came into my room and started shouting at my boyfriend for cheating on her. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
chili10 18
I told my mom that same thing except she told me that if she ever saw him again she would cut his balls off..
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
"Let's see, we've got lasagna, seafood, you're going to burn in Hell for ******* my daughter, enchiladas, tacos, pizza, and steak! Take you're pick."
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Comments (147)
remy3106 10
she sounds like a pleasant woman lol haha soo keep ******* ur bf
boopityboppity 11
Aren't you crass. Doesn't Freeze keep telling you to die?
remy3106 10
idk what crass is and yes freeze hates me
boopityboppity 11
Crass: without refinement. Google exists for a reason, and Freeze isn't the only one.
ohthebloodygore 16
I hate the comment bug and I hate you.
remy3106 10
I know. pretty much everyone on here hates me, but I think stupified doesn't hate me lol and I don't really give a **** if u hate me or not
uridea 14
lol why are you hated? I thought it was funny advice honestly
boopityboppity 11
Freeze and others believe her to be a (to use a colloquialism) "slore." Possibly the world's largest. Personally, I think it's just as viable that she's simply an attention-craving parasite.
remy3106 10
nope I don't do it for attention. and thank u to the people that don't hate me haha :)
5t3ff1k4h 47
Remy, you're thanking maybe one person... and you're happy about that?
remy3106 10
2 ppl and I don't care if people hate me lol and I'm thanking them becuz they don't hate me
perdix 31
I'll bet she puts boogers in his food when he's not looking. Since he's going to be roasted in Hell for eternity, a bit of ingested mucus isn't going to make a difference.
xdanixx 0
Hahaha
boopityboppity 11
Crass: without refinement. Google exists for a reason, and Freeze isn't the only one.
Cinn_fml 23
Was she trying to make a joke with the burning in hell thing, or deadly serious? Because surely if she was serious it would be because she's fairly religious and therefore you should have known to not tell her. Also, was this in casual conversation or was there a reason you "admitted" to it?
suppressed08 2
Even so, condemning him to hell would be harsh by an atheists standards. If you're religious, that must be a serious kick in the teeth. It's ok though, I'm pretty sure she doesn't have that power :)
Cinn_fml 23
All points are true. However I was thinking that the mum might have been trying to make light of the situation but nerves or whatever made it come out all wrong or something. Some parents try their best to accept their kids decisions and that they're growing up and be cool about it, but they don't always agree or know how to deal with it perfectly, so mistakes get made.
Cnote231 0
haha this made me laugh!
Loveheart 0
Haha i told my mum and she asked if he had a big dick Looool
pinkdottedbow 0
Honey, we don't all have ex-stripper, cougar moms.
Jizwold 0
51 is awesome
RedPillSucks 33
Loveheart, I think your mom is trying to muscle in on your territory. Better watch your back.
beachblondeex13 0
ydi for telling your mom !
caribou_megs 7
Hahaha that's funny...YDI for telling your mom, and it it just slipped...well that sucks, but at least she's still cooking him dinner!
sicpupyz122 0
Why would you tell her in the first place? That is your fault all the way. Just keep it all to yourself because anyone your tell, even your boyfriend knows, and is another person that can/will: A: Tell everyone B: Make fun C: All of the above