Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
burdenofaday 0
Tip for the future next time you want to go at your girl with your hands. Have her lay on her back on top of you so you can touch her much in the same way she touches herself. Yes, it's ******* hot and will probably lead places. :]
uminuscooll 0
I resent Jaywin's comment! I'm actually very good at hand jobs!! But I see where your girl is coming from! Guys are more aggressive with the whole fingering deal, it's always nice to have a ladies touch
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (66)
Orchard 33
:( I actually think it's an FML, simply because I ask my husband for sex all the time, and he is never in the mood so I tried, to, um, take care of myself and he caught me. He actually got so upset he cried and doesn't want me doing it anymore, so I get to go without. So the fact that you caught her and wanted to jump in is awesome, and she sucks for not letting you be part of it.
LolCandy 27
If he will not have sex with you and won't let you take care of yourself, then it sounds like he is just trying to control and manipulate you. That or he feels really impotent... but still, it seems wrong that your sexuality should be so limited because of his issues. Perhaps the two of you should seek counselling. If that happened to me, that would be the end of the relationship point blank if there wasn't any change in sight. Good luck.
Helldemon 32
Agreed, if he has no plans to help you with your "problem" then he has no right telling you that you are not allowed to fix it yourself when the need arises.
mwcowboy 2
damn i feel ya on that one my girl was like that when we got together, i told her that it was one thing if i just wasnt interested in doing it, but if she was too preoccupied playing with herself than doing it with me then i would just go find someone else to do it with, that ended that quickly
badluckalex 23
not all are bad! its all about preference
sweetestname 12
you should watch and maybe learn a thing or two.