Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML
Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She'd walked in on me jerking off, which she said is exactly the same as cheating on her. FML
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Top comments
burdenofaday 0
Tip for the future next time you want to go at your girl with your hands. Have her lay on her back on top of you so you can touch her much in the same way she touches herself. Yes, it's ******* hot and will probably lead places. :]
uminuscooll 0
I resent Jaywin's comment! I'm actually very good at hand jobs!! But I see where your girl is coming from! Guys are more aggressive with the whole fingering deal, it's always nice to have a ladies touch
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Comments (66)
dvs01 0
This ruined your life? May as well kill yourself I guess. You might get a parking ticket one day, then your life will be even more ruined. No hope left now
technolove 7
She wants to ********** let her ********** dummy.
Damone 0
well thats a pretty great view you had, i really hope u waited until she was done, normally masturbation leads to sex, maybe after she was done, you would get in to an already horny sex session. there's nothing better than that
leadrunner751 3
when you fail, it's your own damn 'vault'
munchly 17
yeah, every girl needs her 'me time' lol
Critter456 0
the only reason wemon need men is because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
Mr_Chocolate_fml 7
You "wemon" also need us to help u spell apparently...stfu and get back in the kitchen. lol
hellokittywhore 0
it's true my bf is great in bed but Boone know how to get me off better than I do!!! XD
astarwarsfan 0
I guess you (puts on shades) didn't see that coming
gkings18 1
i agree
Person000 0
I hate losers (cough 69 cough) that put pictures of their abs as their profile pic ...