Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML
Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, a lady at the clothing store told me to, “Stop speaking 'Mexicano', this is America!” when I was talking on the phone. I actually speak Portuguese. When I pointed this out, she verbally tortured me and threatened to, “Call the cops” if I didn’t leave her store for, “making her feel threatened.” FML
Today, I got into an argument with my mother, when she snapped and called me a son of a bitch. I said that made no sense, because I'm a girl, and it'd only really confirm that she's a bitch. She then grounded me for insulting her. FML
Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML
Today, I was trying to explain to my mother-in-law how I hated the way my father-in-law talks to me, the tone he uses. She thought I was attacking him and got mad at me. FML
Today, my mother and I got into an argument, and she told me to go to my room. I refused, prompting her to slap the shit out of me. I'm 29, and she was visiting me at my own house. FML
Today, two American guys attacked me for not speaking their language. I'm from England, and they said I'm speaking my own language wrong. FML
Today, my parents had a fight as to which one of them is the most cultured. As a result, they've begun writing my chore lists in a variety of languages. If I don't do them, I'm grounded. I only speak English. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Chazzster 32
“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” - Isaac Asimov
Chazzster 32
Sadly there is no competence test required to become a parent. I’m sorry your mom is apparently an ignorant fool. There is not much point arguing with a idiot. It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing - It will never work, it frustrates both of you and it sounds terrible. You seem like an intelligent person. You are going to have to learn how to manage your mom. As you have seen, arguing with her is pointless. Be glad that you have a brain and it’s not filled up with rubbish from the Fox Network and worse. Try to keep an open outlook and pick your battles more carefully. Not all battles are worth the fight.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
Chazzster 32
“Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.” - Isaac Asimov
RichardPencil 32
It's some libtard conspiracy to call the languages English and Spanish to fool the people into thinking England and Spain had anything to do with our countries. The left-wing lamestream media want people to hate America like they hate the Mexican rapists and murderers (which is most of those people).
Chazzster 32
Is that intended as a joke? If so you should make it a little clearer that is your intent.
Ambrily 27
I think you've been around long enough to know Richard's sarcasm. Seems odd to me that you haven't caught up with it yet...
Major Ahull 3
'MURICA!
RichardPencil 32
Are you kidding? Isn't it absurd enough to be obvious? It's a parody of how the mom probably speaks and thinks.
Major Ahull 3
Is that intended to be a joke? If so, you should make your intent a little clearer. Or just keep posting. I'm only here to judge the original posts, not the comments.
WadStakk 21
Oh Richard :)
WadStakk 21
Yes! This is why I love Richard Pencil!!
historygrad74 19
You are not acquainted with US or World History. I'm a History teacher and professor. Florida was a Spanish acquisition during the Age of Exploration in the 16th century. Jamestown was the first permanent English colony in the New World in 1607. Hmmm...English and Spanish, yes they do. You fell through the cracks of our poor education system.
Major Ahull 3
You fell through the cracks of being able to recognize a joke.
RichardPencil 32
Oh, sweet sassy molassy! I cannot believe that you are serious about me being serious! Of course, I know how England and Spain influenced the New World. Can you not recognize an obvious joke that is obvious?
historygrad74 19
Sorry, it's hard to tell these days the idiots from the idiots. I teach them.
Marcella1016 32
Of course he wasn’t being serious. The sad thing is, it’s hard to tell these days because so many people are so ******* stupid these days and really do believe shit like that. Which was his whole point - to mock them. But how ****** up is it that our educational system is so far gone that people actually do believe shit like this? Ugh.
Psivage3000 4
The only thing dumber than the FML, is your comment.
Chazzster 32
Sadly there is no competence test required to become a parent. I’m sorry your mom is apparently an ignorant fool. There is not much point arguing with a idiot. It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing - It will never work, it frustrates both of you and it sounds terrible. You seem like an intelligent person. You are going to have to learn how to manage your mom. As you have seen, arguing with her is pointless. Be glad that you have a brain and it’s not filled up with rubbish from the Fox Network and worse. Try to keep an open outlook and pick your battles more carefully. Not all battles are worth the fight.
cuz803 46
Take some life advice from me, don't argue with an idiot. Especially one who resorts to violent means.
EBrogen 12
“NEVER ARGUE WITH STUPID PEOPLE. THEY WILL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THEIR LEVEL AND BEAT YOU WITH EXPERIENCE.” Mark Twain
Aaron William Smith 4
Ur mom sounds uneducated and stupid.
CowgirlWithHeart 16
Your mom sounds like a narcissist OP sorry for that 😞 you might look into it and of you agree check for support groups maybe.
Kea O'Callaghan 3
Okay so…that’s child abuse. Go to a trusted authority at school and get protective services involved. Seriously.