Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shat a magnet. FML
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML
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Top comments
luxor21221 0
You "absent mindedly" put magnets in your mouth........ And then you "accidently" swallowed them....... How do you figure???????????
ScottyD620 0
what's wrong with swallowing magnets? you can walk up to a girl wearing a bunch of jewelry (well maybe really really cheap jewelry thats magnetic) and be like.. "I think there's a connection.. I'm magnetically attracted to you"
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Comments (148)
nikkirito 0
YDI for putting them in your mouth and trying to pass this all off as an accident.
partake_fml 2
hahaha Don't worry, it happened to a friend of mine too... But it was not in his mouth... it was in his nose !!!
tipple 0
... absentmindedly ... while talking ... accidentally swallowed ... ?!? Are you in control of anything you do? Please, do NOT answer "I dunno". "They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets." -- neither can we. Now, what you were *supposed* to do with those magnets was glue them to the base of your dick, and go looking for pretty girls wearing braces...
ScottyD620 0
#13, that sounds like a great idea.. cept it might chafe
oooh_dear 0
why would you "absentmindedly" stick them in your mouth? and then "accidentally" swallow them? arent kitchen magnets fairly large? as in. large enough to be ridiculously uncomfortable to swallow? ydi for being such a tard.
eltunas 5
Who said anything about kitchen magnets? He just said magnets. Tard
shimmyya88 0
Why wouldn't you just vomit them up right after swallowing them?
wtfdidido 0
... and why would an 18 years old stick magnets down his throat?
dredd_fml 1
So the question is: Why did he need to go to the ER. Swallowing ONE magnet is fine. It'll pass. Swallowing TWO OR MORE is a huge huge problem. If they decide to "pinch" while going through the bowel, e.g., where one is in one section of his intestines, and the other is in another nearby section, and they decide to *click* snap together. THAT situation can become a huge problem and often requires surgery to get it corrected.
pickledpandas 0
that is terrifying.
llamalpaca382 13
Note to self: Never swallow multiple magnets.
goldthiosulfate 0
I agree with the nurses hahahahahaha.... YDI
spongebobrocks 0
LOL. I understand you on one part - putting things in your mouth. I constantly chew on something... But yeah I'm always careful not to swallow them haha. I hope you got it taken care of :]