Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shat a magnet. FML
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML
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Top comments
luxor21221 0
You "absent mindedly" put magnets in your mouth........ And then you "accidently" swallowed them....... How do you figure???????????
ScottyD620 0
what's wrong with swallowing magnets? you can walk up to a girl wearing a bunch of jewelry (well maybe really really cheap jewelry thats magnetic) and be like.. "I think there's a connection.. I'm magnetically attracted to you"
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Comments (148)
shananigans 0
How does one absentmindedly put magnets in their mouth WHILE TALKING?? Uh??
molly1 0
hahahahahahahahaha u are my life kid
notmuch 0
I would have laughed at you, too. I'm sure the nurses at the ER see a lot of bad stuff. They deserve to have a little fun every once in a while. So why not laugh at the cases where the worst symptom is the patient's idiocy? No harm in that, if you ask me.
monzie94 0
LOOL why would you put two magnets in your mouth ?:p hahah
ditaliaconamore 0
"Absentlymindedly put two magnets in my mouth... WHILE TALKING..." Oh, hello friend, did you have a nice--OMNOMNOM. ...uhohh. -snort- Great FML.
SamuraiDeli 0
I can't even believe someone would be that stupid.
EFFyourlifecait 0
If your looking for sympathy its in the dictionary between shit and syphilis. You moronic fiend.
thisismyname_fml 1
Um, I can't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets either. how could anyone think your life was ******? because you're that ******* stupid?
Jordan10la 0
Well I have put magnets in my mouth so I another could stick to me on the other side of my cheek. Not smart I know, but this FML could have totally happened to me.
l33tm0nk3y 0
Wat.