Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shat a magnet. FML
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML
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Top comments
luxor21221 0
You "absent mindedly" put magnets in your mouth........ And then you "accidently" swallowed them....... How do you figure???????????
ScottyD620 0
what's wrong with swallowing magnets? you can walk up to a girl wearing a bunch of jewelry (well maybe really really cheap jewelry thats magnetic) and be like.. "I think there's a connection.. I'm magnetically attracted to you"
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Comments (148)
Lobster_fml 0
You're stupid.
witchbaby4 0
LMFAO are you stupid? Why did you have magnets by your mouth in the first place? Ew. Something like that happened on Grey's Anatomy. Hope you don't need surgery!
twiles 0
Dude, I clicked "you deserved it" as soon as I read the first few words....
lolwhat_fml 0
fail.
RandomCookie26 0
Hehe.. That SO reminds me of when my friend went to the hospital to get the rare earth magnets he got stuck up his nose taken out surgically. Good job man, thats gonna follow you FOREVER!
RhynoD 0
I can do you one better: I once got magnets stuck in my nose. At prom. That was a fun and interesting night.
Fields4mint 0
I really can't believe the part about the nurses laughing at you. They see a lot dumber crap on a daily basis.
stinebean 0
Ewww. How did the person you were talking to not say something to you about randomly putting magnets in your mouth during a conversation? Are you one of those people that also put coins in your mouth? DIRTY
kukkakaalia 0
Hey, I think it's an FML because you obviously have an oral fixation. I do too, and you really don't even notice when you chew on things or puts things in your mouth, I feel for you. A lot of people have that problem, I don't think everyone should be in such a tizzy over it. And maybe he meant that he put them in his mouth while someone was answering what he just said, not while he was actually talking. I do that a lot too, just usually with something like a water bottle where I'll put the top in my mouth. You just need to be more careful of what you put in there! ;) Haha. That really sucks though, I hope it doesn't turn into something serious.
escapethecityx 0
you idiot.