Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shat a magnet. FML
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML
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Top comments
luxor21221 0
You "absent mindedly" put magnets in your mouth........ And then you "accidently" swallowed them....... How do you figure???????????
ScottyD620 0
what's wrong with swallowing magnets? you can walk up to a girl wearing a bunch of jewelry (well maybe really really cheap jewelry thats magnetic) and be like.. "I think there's a connection.. I'm magnetically attracted to you"
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Comments (148)
amy_shmamy 0
it wouldve been funny if stuff flew to you
hallygators93 0
how do you accidentally swallow magnets? -_-"
wrestler93 0
i think this was the most pointless fml ive ever seen
AroundtheWorld_fml 0
you're dumb.
Mooshki 0
You deserved it, but it's still funny.
caheath 0
haha, wow, you stupid shit. next time don't bother with the emergency room, it's called natural selection.
Amkii 0
I was wondering the same thing, #1. Seriously... how do you just accidentally, randomly, decide to put magnets in your mouth, then swallow them? Wtf? And why did you have to go to the ER? Couldn't you have waited, and shat them out?
30days 0
I totally get where you're comin from. I'm 19 and I always stick stuff thats like in my hand into my mouth. Never swallowed anything though...
lilnurse_44 0
So I work in an ER. 1. people ask why he would go to the ER for something like this? the answer is because people go to the ER for stupid shit all the time. (call 911 for stubbed toes, a rash that they've had for 4 months... etc). 2. If you came into my ER b/c you swallowed magnets, i would have laughed at you too.
xNephilim 19
I really hope you never have to deal with a patient like OP... This isn't stupid shit. It's serious. OP could've died from this.
heyitslee 0
That sucks. Your dumb.