Today, I absentmindedly stuck two magnets in my mouth while talking, and accidentally swallowed them. I had to go the emergency room. The nurses at the station laughed at me. They thought it was a joke. They couldn't believe an 18 year old would swallow magnets. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I shat a magnet. FML
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML
Today, I blanked and forgot to take out my piercing before going for my MRI, even though the nurses asked me multiple times to make sure I had no metal on me before entering, you know, the big machine made of massive electromagnets. The piercing was on my clitoris. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine check-up, and halfway through the appointment, the dentist exclaimed, "Oops!" Turns out, he accidentally glued my lips together while fixing a tiny chip in my front tooth. I spent the next two hours communicating through exaggerated facial expressions and hand gestures. FML
Today, I accidentally punched myself in the mouth while eating a Go-Gurt. I was eating it because I'd just had my wisdom teeth removed. FML
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, my little brother put a battery to my tongue while I was sleeping with my mouth open. The shock found its way right to my metal filling. FML
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Top comments
luxor21221 0
You "absent mindedly" put magnets in your mouth........ And then you "accidently" swallowed them....... How do you figure???????????
ScottyD620 0
what's wrong with swallowing magnets? you can walk up to a girl wearing a bunch of jewelry (well maybe really really cheap jewelry thats magnetic) and be like.. "I think there's a connection.. I'm magnetically attracted to you"
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Comments (148)
luxor21221 0
You "absent mindedly" put magnets in your mouth........ And then you "accidently" swallowed them....... How do you figure???????????
bridgette5866 0
My friend was chewing on a bingo chip once and swallowed it. Shit happens.
z620 0
why the hell would u put such objects in ur mouth? I would laugh too
wasted0087 0
I was once talking to two of my friends and absent mindedly ate my sandwich and whole plate of chips... I had had no recollection of it an thought they took it while I was talking... I still don't remember eating any of it...
mrbeastmode 0
I think your name gives us a pretty good reason why you don't remember
reset_button 0
Wow I hope you "absent mindedly" swallow a bullet
ScottyD620 0
what's wrong with swallowing magnets? you can walk up to a girl wearing a bunch of jewelry (well maybe really really cheap jewelry thats magnetic) and be like.. "I think there's a connection.. I'm magnetically attracted to you"
RyGan 0
that would be amazingly epic
sushi314 12
That's... Not how jewelry works
venomousflower 24
It's a girl not a guy
TeenTiger 0
YDI. Not sure why you had to go to the ER for it though. They just tell you to go home and let it pass through your system.
TheDarkCynder 2
Two magnets is bad, if they disconnect then reconnect somewhere else in different places if the intestines then it can cause internal bleeding.
brianfantana32 10
And rip your guts apart
SpunkT 0
What the hell. Are you four years old? Why are you putting that crap in your mouth?
Sue21 0
Can i stick a something magnetic on you?
Epicperson23 0
hey u wanna have sex? ?
Epicperson23 0
hey u wanna have sex? ?
Epicperson23 0
hey u wanna have sex? ?
Epicperson23 0
hey u wanna have sex? ?
Epicperson23 0
hey u wanna have sex? ?
antmanzero 8
Jesus Christ. You horny bastard, calm down. -.-
Demon_fml 0
my cousin would do this...he is 3
alllllllly 0
i've done pretty much the same thing, don't worry.
milena28_fml 0
me too. but I swallowed a nickel /: yeaaah. I was like 8
bellebe1998 16
that's not the same thing then...
starbaby 0
I hope they were atleast those little ones shapped like fruit.
Endymion_fml 0
If they were small enough to swallow, they're small enough to... pass.