Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed, so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends, and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jizzwold 21
Because obviously the best way to feel better about your loneliness is casual sex.
MrHotShot22 6
It's cause you deceived him with lies! Lies!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (221)
AerBear115 15
If it makes you feel better I have über small boobs too. 32B sized boobs....
SuperDanielNL 23
I imagine that flabbeghasted drunk look on the dudes face.
gregnc_fml 18
And now he knows what 'Victorias Secret' is.
Shadow_Phantom 26
I think I'd say that too. YDI.
Neligee 9
Hahaha !
Deviant_fml 5
Awesome...
madisonrose626 5
1) Push-up bras = false advertising 2) You should get checked for STD's if you do this after every breakup.
charvisioku 22
Breasts are not an object to 'advertise'. It worries me how many people on here are using that ridiculous phrase. If she felt more comfortable wearing a push-up, you have absolutely no right to judge her. Especially since you have big **** so I doubt you know what it's like to feel insecure about them being too small. Give her a break.
MikeyScene420 17
I prefer smaller ******* so hook up with me sometime
BellaFurfaro 12
Ah, the magic of the push-up bra.
amykins11 6
probably one of those add 2 cup sizes bras... they're false advertising, plus mine makes me look like a comic character...