Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed, so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends, and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
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Top comments
jizzwold 21
Because obviously the best way to feel better about your loneliness is casual sex.
MrHotShot22 6
It's cause you deceived him with lies! Lies!
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Comments (221)
buckdharma 38
Slip a pair of thick glasses on the drunk guy. If he ask's what you're doing, just tell him he wears glasses.
hurley12 30
It is sort of false advertising.
blackcatbadluck 9
Push up bras arn't really false advertising. All you are doing is squishing them together and up. Sorry OP, guys can be dumb alot of times.
alishous 8
How is it not...? It makes you look like you have big ****! I never wear push-ups, they're fake as shit. Think of a big bag of chips... When you open said bag and its 70% empty it pisses you off too.
OhhKristin 11
And this is why you should be thankful for whatever boobage you have. If you're small chested, don't try making them look bigger with pushup bras or padded bras. You'll just end up looking like a moron.
babeababe 16
I thought you were gonna say he puked on you. Lol. Don't worry, boobs are over rated.
Satoaoi 13
yet another boob only caring about boob size
XAlizeX 5
Been that guy before!
babyblueyes 27
Push up bras are lies! Be like a guy stuffing his pants then u having the same reaction when you take off his boxers!
carminecris89 13
YDI! One night stands will only make you a dumb *****. You will still be lonely the next morning and probably empty and full of regret. You're risking a lot just to feel less lonely. You could get an std, knocked up, hurt, among many other things. You have no clue who you're getting close too when you do that. If the worst thing that came out of your night was being a little embarrassed about a push up bra then you lucked out.
Undefined323 5
Maybe you're not his cup of tea?