Today, I learned my dog had eaten a roll of vet wrap, which is like a long strip of bandage. I learned this when she tried to pass it in the yard today, and could only do so with my help. It seemed to never end. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was lying in bed recovering from a laparoscopy with my dog laying next to me. I fell asleep and later awoke to a burning pain on my incisions. My dog had decided the stitches would be fun to chew on. FML
Today, my dog somehow managed to swallow a ring that my mother had bought me. Now I must carefully poke and search through each pile of dog crap I find in my yard for the next week. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I finally realized why my 9-week-old puppy was going to the bathroom so much. I went to pick up the food bag and realized she had chewed a hole in the bottom, and eaten half of the bag in the last 4 days. Goodbye 30 pounds of dog food, and 100$ for a vet visit. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, my dog ate my little brother's medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML
Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
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Top comments
Transfusion 8
Like those clowns and their never ending handkerchiefs?
HelloSirs 14
Not supposed to do what? Eat vet wrap, or pull objects out of a dogs anus? Because both are casual hobbies of mine.
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Comments (63)
hoshica 6
You're not supposed to do that
HelloSirs 14
Not supposed to do what? Eat vet wrap, or pull objects out of a dogs anus? Because both are casual hobbies of mine.
RoperGirl203 9
Well Sir, I'll keep that in mind when I'm bored. Are you also interested in horse orgies?
HelloSirs 14
Well it depends on if the horse orgies are counting me as the horse, and is with at least 4 women and no other men. With that criteria, orgy away.
Enslaved 38
Sounds like the one penis per fantasy rule.
SmosherMe 6
Actually, if the dog is already trying to pass it but can't, you're supposed to help or take it to the vet.
Transfusion 8
Like those clowns and their never ending handkerchiefs?
Capt_Oblivious 10
Queue circus music
Jessj958 19
Thanks guys, now all I can picture is OP pulling bandages out of the dogs butt with circus music playing.
dmoran20 27
Thanks #11 now that's stuck in my head!!!
Kallian_fml 21
Really 11? I'm imagining OP pulling a colorful, never-ending handkerchief out of the dogs butt. With the circus music, of course.
VScpu 3
This time it goes in white and comes out brown. Magic
skyeyez9 25
I can hear the zebra in the madagascar cartoon singing "circus afro" as I read about you pulling an endless amount of vet wrap out of your dog's butt.
buckdharma 38
Woman- a dog's best friend.
HelloSirs 14
Bro, your profile is ******.
MyNameIsViet 15
3, you've seen how fast we thumb people down apparently (his profile). Well it's true considering your already on -5. Good job
wellfuuucckme 7
WHO RAISED YOU ?!?!?!?!?!?!
mperniciaro 15
I'm sure it was a lot more uncomfortable for your dog. Having a pet you should know you have responsibilities and one of them is picking things up he/she can potentially eat.
Omfgitsmia 15
Maybe you should keep an eye on your dog next time so that she doesn't get into anything.
shanee108 9
At least it wasn't a tape worm.
howdeedoo 22
Your dog would make a funny magician
ICastillo 25
That's the first thing that came to mind. I picture a bunch of colorful rags tied together being pulled out of a dogs butt..... And then a dove flys out. Don't ask me why, but that's what I see.
SmosherMe 6
Da fuq did I just read?
dmoran20 27
You're a true dog lover. Most wouldn't have bothered to help and would of laughed or yelled at the dog.
dmoran20 27
I'm sure she wasn't in the back yard with her foot on the fence pulling as hard as she could, (at least I hope not) the comment was that she cared enough to try and help the dog and not be like quite a bit of animal owners out there who would of yelled, hit or laughed at the animal.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Honestly, I can't think of what kind of person would have refused to help their own pet, especially when it couldn't very well walk around the house with a mile of bandage coming out of its ass.
TheManager 6
Dogs always get a bad wrap
vanessa09865 23
awww that poor baby, i probably would've laughed and then helped my dog
shan88 14
You would laugh first? That's just horrible and mean. Personally, my first reaction would be to help my poor, quite possibly distressed pooch.