Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Today, I was going through a hard and painful break up after a long relationship. Trying to get over it, I invited my two best friends over to lift my spirits. The night ended with them making out on my bed as I sat alone in the other room. FML
Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML
Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed, so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends, and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
Today, I went to pick up some of my clothes from my boyfriend's apartment. While searching under his bed he pulled out a tank top and bra and asked if they were mine. They weren't. FML
Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
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Top comments
jizzwold 21
Because obviously the best way to feel better about your loneliness is casual sex.
MrHotShot22 6
It's cause you deceived him with lies! Lies!
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Comments (221)
Maria_Obligacia 14
yeah reverse the roles - so the guy takes his pants off and his penis disappears! Just an empty space where penis, by all prior appearance was! I'd probably blurt something out in surprise too!
BananerzFresh 12
Have little boobs isn't a problem. Buy gee that must have been very awkward and embarressing.
CookieLovesBoo 16
Tig Ol' Bitties - your favorite Martian ( YouTube ) lol
crashley21 10
That's what false advertising does.
WhatYouMean 4
Oh yeah, he supposably said it 'drunkenly' haha!
khatouki 2
You should've given him another drink ! Then he'll think u r Elle macpherson .lol
urbanimpression 6
that's why you just be yourself!
symotomsofhope 5
Dear lord it isn't "false advertising." Girls can wear push ups to feel better about themselves if they want. You're just dumb if you think all girl's boobs are the same when they take their clothes off.
DeBoss 8
Cheeeeeater :). No,, that's okay.. Push up looks really great, but most men don't understand what they really do until it's removed...
Victoria1616 3
thank god for big boobs no need to fake it (: haha