Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I realized I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world. Too bad he has never once made me orgasm in the two and a half years we've been together. FML
Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML
Today, my new boyfriend asked why it takes me so long to reach orgasm. I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's never even given me one. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were riding on my motorcycle. While at a stop light, she started to make these weird noises. Turns out she was having an orgasm. I still can't give her one. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML
Today, I realized that I get more turned on by my exercise bike than my boyfriend of 4 years. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't know what it's like to be turned on. Apparently, I've been doing something wrong for the past two years. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
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Top comments
meanie_monday 0
Dump the guy, date the bike. Problem solved ;)
anger18 0
it seems that's his FML rather than yours lol
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Comments (164)
runwest07 0
It really should be: "Today, my girlfriend got an ****** from riding on my street bike. We've been dating for 3 years and I still haven't been able to do that to her. FML" Definitely not an FML or YDI. He should be writing it, not you.
Tri_fml 5
On a serious note - have you considered buying him a vibrating **** ring? Some people need a little vibration to get off properly, it's just an oddity of nature. I honestly think a little bit of electronic assistance could be invaluable.
tomcavalier 0
Hahahahaha... poor guy. He should most definitely try using a vibe on you, maybe a vibrating **** ring, a bullet vibe, or one of those Hitachi Magic Wands. If that works, he might even be able to do it while he's in you and the two of you could come at the same time. Having him or you reach down and rub your clit while he's in you might also work. And if you have orgasms on your own using a toy, then he can just use that one with you instead of needing trial and error to find one that works. Good luck!
Anon98WithCake 0
Either he sucks at life and should be posting her rather than you, or you need to sit him down and tell him how to make you happy.
dyingstart 0
Well, look at the bright side. At least you know there's a way for you to be able to get off! I agree with #46, a little trip to the sex shop may be in order :)
doloreshaze_fml 0
Riding the 14th street bus used to do if for me. Be sure to sit in the back above the wheel.
kittycatgirl 0
i have a pathetic question what is an ******????
Maddoctor 10
Wow love, that's something I thought I'd never see in an FML comment. It's the peak of sexual arousal and usually feels like an emmense release of energy. For guys, it's also when they ejaculate. In women it usually takes anywhere from 5-40 minutes of stimulation in the ********.
UncleverName_FYL 0
#53 kittycatgirl, i'm guessing you're 12... plz get off this site
Volda_fml 0
I knew what an ****** was when I was 12...
maddog_fml 0
@#53 WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! My advice: http://www.hellokittyonline.com/us/
absurdliaisons 0
@53: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=****** OP: It takes two to tango, but that is pretty embarrassing. Hopefully this will give you a push in the right direction. Good luck.
fyourlife33 0
there really needs to be a way to keep 10 year olds off this site
Polionixon 2
**** i started masturbating when i was 12 lol.
dramakat11 0
OP...Do you **********? You need to get really comfortable with what gets you off, your fantasies, etc. if you ever expect to be able to get off with someone else. Also, seems like you like vibrations so you and your bf could try one of those vibrating **** rings. And to 53...couldn't you just look it up on wikipedia? An ****** is the peak of sexual pleasure. Women can have clitoral orgasms through clitoral stimulation (your clit is the most sensitive part of your outer ******...you can just rub in between your the lips of your ****** where it's soft and pink and you'll find it trust me) as well as orgasms from vaginal penetration such as intercourse or use of a ***** or vibrator...
freddie_fml 0
No no, there is no "giving" of an ******. If you want one, you have to TAKE it. If you leave the whole thing up to your partner, it ain't never going to happen.
jmeg_fml 0
A woman needs a bicycle like a fish... no, wait...
allysonrigby 4
Hah