Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
"Aw you made me INK!!"
Tigerblossom 19
Do you work at an aquarium or a pet shop? Because if its a pet shop you can't have the animals getting too "attached" to you.
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Comments (135)
perdix 31
It probably looked like you were dancing arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm-in-arm.
ChronicBluntz420 7
That was wack perdix.
flockz 20
slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slaps ChronicBluntz420.
doodlecloud 27
Wait...11 arms? Who does the last one belong to?!
ilovedinosawers 17
An Asian chick. Who happened to be watching.
Omniprism 15
Sounds like you have an awesome job. Seriously.
hanstrider 2
i am pretty sure octopuses dont ink, thats squids
omgitslian 6
*facepalm*
Sweetpea22 14
Both use ink as a defense mechanism.
tj4234 36
go back to school...
rocker_chick105 31
*octopi?
CaptainBlack 18
nope
Llama_Face89 34
Octopi* Squid*. English is hard.
123man 11
Octopuses rule! That being said, I wouldn't want one attached my face. Hopefully it didn't get you with its beak!
Sweetpea22 14
Lets hope it wasn't a blue ringed octopus
perdix 31
#40, Octopi. You should know the correct plural of your masters.
CaptainBlack 18
Actually that's not the plural, since it's not a latin noun. It's greek; the correct plural is either octopodes or octopuses.
dickstra 2
Look it up octopuses or octopi they both work
skyeyez9 25
A Blue ringed octopus is very small. I pictured a very large octopus wrapping its tentacles completely around poor OP's face. And I doubt one would just casually handle a blue ringed one
perdix 31
#58, I just did a crossword puzzle on the plane, and an answer was "octopi," so I guess I win ;)
123man 11
@58, It's a sad state of affairs that you got neg'd for providing the most factual response about the plural of octopus. Dictionaries list both because dictionaries change with how people talk and as languages evolve. So both are shown because so many people use the incorrect "octopi".
stitch23 6
Omg that's hilarious! Seriously, where do you work?
delaneyluke 5
That must've been INKredibly messy
Enslaved 38
Beware. By tomorrow morning, you might turn into Doctor Octopus!
Kuramasan_fml 12
I thought that only happened in animes XD
Chazzzor 10
Why in God's name did you put your face close enough to an octopus for this to happen? Are you stupid or have a thing for octopus?
Sweetpea22 14
Depends on the species. If the tentacles were long enough it could have easily latched on OP's face while he was holding it from a distance
CaptainBlack 18
Sorry dude, but your life is awesome.