Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and superiors as well as our clients. About two hours in I started playing with the lid of the pen I was using, next thing I saw was the lid flicking up and hitting my boss square in the middle of the head. FML
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous!" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
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Top comments
txgirl2013 14
"Aw you made me INK!!"
Tigerblossom 19
Do you work at an aquarium or a pet shop? Because if its a pet shop you can't have the animals getting too "attached" to you.
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Comments (135)
worldclassrager 41
How is that playing? It's doing your job..,
llyrgod 6
The octopus just wanted to give you some loving
elliecandlin 20
I have never laughed so much at FML before :')
jatinbhanot 6
People.. Octopi eat through a beak lodged inside their mouth.. the beak is strong enough to penetrate shells of a variety of sea creatures (it shreds a crab in mins).. it's a miracle that OP didn't get hurt.. (assuming that it lodged its tentacles around her head) consider yourself lucky..
Madrias 36
Well, at least you can officially say you've been attacked by a facehugger...
firefly319 7
Your first sentence alone makes this FML awesome without having to even read the rest. What other animals do you work with?!
isminit 3
Aww its like it peed on you, how sweet :')
Marblecakelolz 11
I think it likes you.
dragaaron 1
I've seen enough memes about hentai to know where this is going XP
jackaced 7
He just needed a hug