Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in what was probably a freudian slip, I 'accidentally' sent my boss a text message meant for my therapist, containing an elaborate plan to sneak my cat into the office as my "emotional support animal." My boss replied with a simple "Denied." My dreams of a feline-fueled workspace shattered. FML
Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML
Today, I woke up to find that my cat had peed all over my coffee table, and more specifically on my laptop, completely ruining it. When I confronted her, she looked at me with what I can only describe as a smug expression, as if to say, "You're not the boss of me." FML
Today, I took my cat to the vet for a regular check-up. In the waiting room, she escaped from her carrier and created chaos, knocking over supplies, and hissing at everyone. FML
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
Today, my boss's cat died. I'm expected to attend the service. FML
Today, I opened my closet to get my uniform to get ready for work, and found the cat my step-mom was looking for the night before. Apparently, it snuck in there and was too stupid to miaow to be let out, but had no problem pissing all over all my stuff. FML
Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML
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Top comments
eyebrowzzz 21
What grown man brings their cat to work
Jasim 17
It would be a shame if someone left the door open.
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Comments (45)
penel96 15
Can you report him?
Mightyrif 23
Life isn't as easy as that.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Throw it out the window and watch as it takes a landing. That way you can honestly say you looked after it fell.
thevelociraptor 31
Wtf?! Do you even have a subconscious? Gosh, that's enough internet for me for a while.
Dreamsorrow93 24
Gosh I said "landing" as in it survive on its feet. I love kitties :(
jerryj 27
So, by your logic, you express your love by throwing said persons/objects out the window?
Dreamsorrow93 24
Yes. Love is pain. Let me love you with my knife. Then a window landing.
SBurrke 11
Do you know what sarcasm is number 17?
ohSNAPyall 27
I think you mean "conscience."
kipperin 18
Well 33, you don't.
YourOpinionSucks 22
Throw it out of the window? Nah, open the window and place it on the floor and let it run away? Definitely. He wouldn't be able to do shit against OP anyways because of the no pets policy. Should read "Today I was too pussy to stand up to my boss. FML." See what I did there?
hobbs96 26
Shoulda turned the blame back around
VeganDarkLight 31
For what?
pureportedpear 27
Have you considered finding a new job? I would never work under a boss, who blames his own eployees for something that is obiosly his own fault, for more than necessary to find a new workplace
IAmzephyr 22
Thats almost every boss ever lol
HyunnK 18
Said no one ever #6
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
Wait, your boss thinks you seriously peed on the floor? I'm sorry for your idiotic boss, OP!
VeganDarkLight 31
I don't think so. He/she knows it was his cat, but he blames OP for not holding it back from peeing on the floor.
immaMonsta 8
There seems to be a streak of idiotic bosses recently :-/ I hope you're able to report him or something for that OP.
eyebrowzzz 21
What grown man brings their cat to work
GrinchFu1 27
YES!!!
ilovesoccer1610 31
Louis Litt does
HyunnK 18
That grow man does. But cats can be pretty cool.
yuzuhere 21
You just got Kitt- I mean, Litt up.
GrinchFu1 27
Your boss is an idiot. Everyone knows you don't leave crazy pussy unsupervised.
Jasim 17
It would be a shame if someone left the door open.
newzealand 28
Or opened up an air vent?
Jasim 17
I like the way you think.