Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Not cool
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Oh, hello…
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML
Damp patch
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML
Classic mistake
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Top comments
laaryssa 21
I'm all for public breastfeeding, it's not sexual or anything but that was te wrong place and wrong time
happle 21
Have you never been around an infant before? Mothers breast feed their children; it's a part of life. In addition, infants have little to no control over what comes out o their bodies, so I'm certain the mother could have done nothing to stop it.
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Comments (250)
Eleanor6141 11
I can see where OP and the mom were coming from, OP was probably uncomfortable with it even though its completely normal, and who wants to be carrying around a screaming baby?
AussieChild 22
I can't believe so many people are having a go at that poor lady for simply feeding her child, and doing what nature intended! In Australia, where I'm from, it's ILLEGAL to ask a woman to cover up whilst breast feeding, or to leave an establishment whilst breastfeeding. That's because it's the woman's right to feed her child the way nature intended! If people can't handle the awesomeness of boobs doing what they were made for, they should look away!
iluvpeanutbutter 22
I've noticed in Australia that a lot of malls have lounges with small kitchenettes for parents, so that they can change nappies, sit down for a bit, heat up formula etc and feed their bubs. I feel that's something that should be promoted elsewhere.
mamaflower 23
I didn't know that parent's rooms were rare else where. Really?? It seems like common sense.
iluvpeanutbutter 22
I don't know if they are rare elsewhere, or if it's just that I don't notice them (since I'm not a parent), but the ones I've seen in Aus are quite nice :)
ElizabethNL93 20
My thoughts also, 52. It shouldn't even be an argument. If someone is that uncomfortable with it then avert your damn eyes! Also, I live in America and, having travelled through several states, I've not seen many nursing areas in public facilities. Maybe just once or twice. Maybe I will take more notice next time I go out!
SarMarJo 17
I live in Texas, and out local Babies R' Us has a "mother room". It is quite lovely. Even has a few couches and a TV!
Caitie_kid 8
From Michigan, I've actually never seen a parents room anywhere I have gone. I didn't know there was such a thing until reading this comment thread.
TheDrifter 24
As a non parent, I've noticed them in areas for travelers all over the North American continent, though they're fairly rare unless you're somewhere that caters to new mothers. Changing tables in the other hand are in almost every bathroom. Personally I avoid such places, anywhere that encourages clusters of screaming infants and angry, inconsiderate parents (I'm not sure Aussies understand just how rude and belligerent American new mothers tend to be) is definitely not on my must see list. On a side note, using public microwaves for heating bottles is banned in many establishments by health code, as they cannot know what's in it and it hasn't been government inspected. A half dozen people got aids from an improperly cleaned microwave that had been used to heat infected breast milk (that spilled) and by the end of the week there was a law against it.
Nirah_fml 18
I'm coming to your workplace and am going to ask you to perform whatever service you do whilst I eat a full meal, clip my finger nails, talk on my cell phone, etc. I don't what you do, or I could be more specific, but I will do whatever is going to inconvenience you the most and when you ask me to stop, I'll freak the **** out and say "How dare you! I am perfectly entitled to eat/groom/talk on my phone! If you can't handle the awesomeness of food/beauty/technology, then you should look away!" But I'm still going to expect you to finish helping me as a customer first. It's not about boobs. It's about not being rude and preventing somebody from being able to do their job while still expecting them to do it. She should have excused herself to feed the baby and had the measurements done when she was finished, or else wait until the measurements were done to feed her baby--not both at the same time.
bananawatson 1
your dumb. grooming yourself is a hell of a lot different than feeding a helpless child..
hozzy123 8
Thank you! My wife beast feeds but we have yet to have anyone get openly upset at it. But thank you it is natural.
Nirah_fml 18
*sigh* Missing the point again. The point is not "Ew, that's gross", the point is "You have asked me to do a job and I cannot do it while you are doing that". It is pretty freaking difficult to measure someone when they're feeding a baby. She should have excused herself and asked to have the measurements done when she was finished rather than expect the OP to still try and measure her while she was feeding her baby. So, no, it's really not different at all. It's only different if you're talking about a 'gross' factor. Which I'm not. And neither is the OP. That's the point.
HumanWiki 8
Were the boobs nice looking?
natywantspeace 7
Sucks for the puke, ok with boob
M3DIC4T3 29
This is why I ******* hate babies. I'm willing to bet she just left you with that mess too. Frankly I hate special snowflake parents and children alike. Just an FYI, baby sitters and daycare centers exist for a reason.
mamaflower 23
Wow... Sometimes people can't afford daycare and babysitters cancel. Plus if she is still breast feeding I doubt she would have been able to leave her child with someone else. She is the one producing the milk after all.
KawaiiCupcake 14
So apparently you were never a baby yourself or you were just perfect one? Never pooped in your pants or wet your bed? Don't think so!
SarMarJo 17
Your ignorance just caused me to facepalm so hard I gave myself a headache, #55. Please do not reproduce.
stretchedthin 20
you're. an ignorant prick maybe your mother should have swallowed instead.
LeaAnne94 17
Please never have sex. Having sex can lead to you having a baby and you clearly cannot be a nurturing parent who deserves to have a child.
Caitie_kid 8
Unfortunately disgusting pieces of trash like her breed too often.
ElizabethNL93 20
She hates babies because she never got the chance to be one. That's right, folks. She came out of the womb a full-grown inconsiderate bitch.
xzxXxzx 11
Oh god..
olpally 33
.... Shit.
mommy1213 7
You are an inconsiderate jerk. Babies need to eat, and babies spit up. Get over yourself
Setareh23 34
I agree that babies need to be fed and babies vomit, but I don't think he/she is being a jerk. Just complaining about a very unfortunate event (puking) which is no one's fault really. Sometimes we have a bad day and need to vent. Isn't that what fml is for, making fun of our problems? :)
mommy1213 7
You're right. I was referring to the ppl commenting
JanisEvans 10
Parents know the times their babies need up eat and can keep them at home at those times. Public breast feeding is not a necessity. And I ducking don't want to see it.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Newborns need a lot more nutrition than you think. If they were to do as you say, they wouldn't be able to get anything done.
Kizeree 2
That's not even slightly true. Babies feeding patterns are unpredictable. Some babies feed every two hours, that would mean for some mothers they would ever leave the house.
mommy1213 7
Hey genius, you MAY be able to predict the general time if you are bottle feeding, but breast feeding is totally on-demand. Please educate yourself before you make ignorant comments. On too of that mommies deserve to be able to be in public, and feed their babies. I personally would not just whip out my breast but if this mom did she had every right to do so.
psiloveyou15 12
#144. Do you really think a busy new mother is going to run home every 2 hours just because ignorant bitches like you can't accept the fact that breastfeeding is natural and often necessary?
mustang_tg 11
Hopefully she cleaned it up.
Trish01 23
I agree that there's nothing wearing with breastfeeding in public, but from the FML it seemed like the woman didn't even take a second to back away a bit before whipping out her boob. He was measuring her so I'm guessing he was standing up close to her. It would've taken 2 seconds to ask OP to wait a minute, I doubt the baby would've starved in that time.
Trish01 23
Or she... Regardless, the FML doesn't mean that OP is necessarily a jerk.
Parkour_rocks 20
The mother was not the OP so how would the OP have been a jerk at all?