Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML
Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML
Today, a friend told me that when I read, I make all the expressions the characters in the book are making. Apparently, I have been doing this since I was a kid, and no one ever told me. FML
Today, a tourist from an English-as-second-language country taught me a new word. In English. FML
Today, I got my language final exam back. It was a 10-page essay front and back, and I saw that I received a D. The teacher told me the plot was too hard to follow and it jumped all over the place. It turns out he forgot to read the back of every page. FML
Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML
Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML
Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML
Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML
Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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Top comments
kickazz16 15
What did you expect? A cookie?
Grimmerie 31
Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?
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Comments (167)
kickazz16 15
What did you expect? A cookie?
Drummerboy1234 0
how did you mistake English for German??
22cute 17
Actually that's pretty cute. I know the feeling. All these trolls with their mean comments probably don't know what it's like to read in a second language.
frankboy 0
A parade maybe.. But not a cookie
yahoowizard 16
@13 Well, they both got the blonde hair blue eyes thing going on
ShakeMeDown 12
32- Everyone with a high school knowledge should know...
karkid619 8
Ja. Ich will eine Kekse. Translation: Yes. I want a cookie. :)
rldostie 19
I agree with 32. I know six languages, some better than others, and often switching between the two can be difficult. If I'm using a lot of Japanese, for example, I've been told that I'll rattle off in Japanese to English speakers and not even know it. The brain just doesn't switch between languages as easily as some think.
humorizer 14
@75: I dunno... I mean I speak English and Dari pretty decently, as well as some German and Arabic (and a very tiny helping of Spanish and Italian from middle school), and the worst I've ever done is mix up con and mit (with) for the respective languages (Spanish and German). Folks should know from accentual context that something is amiss if they suddenly encounter a different vocabulary. Heck, sometimes my Dari friends will switch from English to Dari and back to English on the fly and we make sure to change our accent to match.
taradeborde87 3
#49, you sound a bit jealous! :)
rbr0wn 3
I agree. Sometimes it's easy to forget which language you're reading in, especially when you're concentrating so hard!
Sniperkid07 6
Well I'm fluent in English, German, and French and I know that feeling exactly, sometimes i'll be doing something in German then I will begin speaking French but will have troubles because I'm thinking in German.
samikitty961 8
i don't know what all of you are talking about. ive learned a little japanese and a little spanish quite a bit of german and i always know exactly what language i am reading. i have never confused german for english or any other language. usually there are ways you can immediately tell what language it is just by glancing at it. for instance, you are not likely to find a lot of ö, ü, ä, or ß in english. so i think the OP probably just wasnt really concentrating on what he or she was reading.
kmeredith 8
54- I went to high school and currently studying a bachelors and I don't know another language. And hardly anyone I know does either. Most the high schools here only offer Indonesian as a language class and it's only by choice if you want to do it. I didn't see the point when I had other more important classes to choose from and most people in Indonesia know English anyway :-)
bene201 0
Im surprised that out of all the people who said that they spoke German, nobody corrected 57 It's actually: "Ja Ich will einen Keks"
Grimmerie 31
Did you recently suffer a sharp blow to the head?
BigBacker 0
Haha when I came back from mission trip in Honduras, if I wasn't focused when someone was talking it'd sound like Spanish occasionally. Awkward. Haha
the_ace1337 0
2- Are you quoting Sheldon Cooper? hahaha.
DrOfTheInternet 6
Mr.rocket, please stop making comments. They have never been funny.
weezypanda420 22
I think #2 is quoting Sheldon lol
ddinspire6 10
You couldn't tell it was English letters?
bemylove123 9
Obviously not. :P
Iamaninchworm 0
I'm assuming you mean't words since English and Deutsh share the same alphabet, except for the umlauts.
ddinspire6 10
Yea I ment words... Oops
ddinspire6 10
*meant
ddinspire6 10
Everything I say is just gonna get a thumbs down eh?
maryam8869 7
its ok :/ it happens alot
drawmesunshine 17
Don't forget the ß!
brent321 10
Dont Forget to bring a towel!
jhldc 1
23 here is how to get thumbs up. Everyone if you think I'm a Fag thumbs me up.
athena3100 9
The alphabet has the same letters as English, some letters have an umount though. And there is also an Esset.
mortiz91_fml 6
I can understand OP's situation...i live in france, my native language is spanish and all my clases are in english...i can read a text that is written in diferent lanhuages without even noticing The difference X)
mortiz91_fml 6
Languages*
minecraft_fml 4
Athena, I think it's Eszett.
allen2688 6
*Facepalm*
xNephilim 19
Athena and minecraft, it's actually Umlaut. :)
madgrinchhatter 12
The Umlats is my favorite German death metal band
thhu_an 11
#10 it's Deutsch with a c actually. Why don't you just say German instead? -.- and it's "Umlaute" not umlauts.
EnEl_Infierno 15
*Gesicht plam*
WiderWille 11
Its "Gesichts Palme"
anonymou5e 6
That's just the literal translation, Gesichtspalme. Not sure what it SHOULD be though.
WiderWille 11
There is no meaningful translation for it, just go with facepalm.
DrIDGAF 7
*Palme
jas78cool 0
At least u r trying......One day u will get the hang of it....keep it up...ur Husband must be proud of u :)
Okayitwasme 0
Nice butchering of the English language!
ShakeMeDown 12
5- What's next? Saying "Lol" or "Bbl"? Where is Jesus when you need him. Smack some since into this woman.
belkinbra 12
55, if you are going to be an asshole about people's spelling or lack thereof, you might want to spell 'sense' right instead of spelling 'since'.
abbyhoneywaffles 11
You don't need to be rude. I'm pretty sure people come on this website to get a laugh, not to be tested on their grammar.
thatKidzmOm 10
Sense...?
tomtato 10
Sie hat es verdient :)
KitchKraft 21
Your mother.
liveXyourXlife 0
*facepalm* -_-
bemylove123 9
At least you made him laugh. That's always a good thing, right?
Naitsi 19
Right :D
s0m3guy2010 21
This reminds me of the time that my cousin thought that the word "pause" was the French word for stop.
tucker5005 1
your cousin is George Bush?
jurgaj01 0
Oh wow
hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3
She was reading mein kampf
ddinspire6 10
You couldn't tell it was English words?