Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
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Top comments
laaryssa 21
I'm all for public breastfeeding, it's not sexual or anything but that was te wrong place and wrong time
happle 21
Have you never been around an infant before? Mothers breast feed their children; it's a part of life. In addition, infants have little to no control over what comes out o their bodies, so I'm certain the mother could have done nothing to stop it.
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Comments (250)
GSU2013 6
As annoying as a crying baby is, she could have waited before starting to nurse. The child is not going to starve to death in the few minutes it would've taken for OP to finish. Also I don't really care to see breastfeeding in public cause that's what breast pumps and bottles are for. If you can't afford a breast pump, use formula for when you go out in public and breastfeed every other time. I am a mother btw.
Jupsi_fml 12
Not even close. Breast pump is for when you ARE NOT with your baby. Really NO REASON to pump your milk when you are with your baby. Stop being selfish and judgmental, when we see breast all day long on TV or ads, suddenly when it's to feed your baby you can't see them ? Btw unless you stuck your nose on her bra, you can't see anything because baby's head is just in front of the nipple. Unbelievable that you can read crap like than in 2013 ! And she started to nurse him, not because he was starving to death, but because it's magical when he's crying !! OP just said he was annoying. Try to use your brain. (sorry for my poor english)
Kizeree 2
Mix feeding can be a bad call. Google Virgin gut. And why waste money buying formula when you have the food on tap for free?
GSU2013 6
I am not being judgemental at all. Everyone has their preferences. I would prefer not to have to it pull out my breasts in public, even with a cover up. It's a modesty issue. If I can feed my baby from the bottle I will. People can do whatever they want. I was offering up a simple suggestion. It's not a crazy idea to pump milk before you go out. I try to keep at least 3 bottles prepared in case I'm going somewhere. P.S. Just cause there is nudity all over TV and whatnot doesn't mean I need to join the craze. I'm a rather conservative person anyway so it's not like I'm watching that crap anyway.
grayeyedmarine 14
there's your problem you're comparing it on a sexual level breasts are no more sexual then your fingers. they're mutated sweat glands and fat. formula goes bad after two hours, while yes milk can be left out a bit it doesn't make it right.
Shade1982 21
And out comes the butthurt in the comments...
JanisEvans 10
And this is one of the many reasons why public breast feeding should be a no-no. Blargh indeed.
AussieChild 22
Really?? Would you like to eat your lunch in the toilets with all the bacteria or eat your dinner with a blanket over your face?? Of course not! So why should a baby?! Stop being so closed minded and grow up.
TheDrifter 24
Do you want to work while someone with an infant hanging off them gets in your way? Deal with customers that bring in screaming infants, make a mess and waste your time? I'm sorry that new mothers don't get out as much as they would like, but have some consideration for the people around you when you do go out.
grayeyedmarine 14
my son is breastfed and he hardly cries, hardly Carries on.... moms who use formula are more likely to have crying babies because of prep time. breastfed babies tend to do a million times better
monnanon 14
my son who was bottle fed is still better behaved and less likely to cry than his breastfed counterparts. just proves it depends on the child not the method of feeding.
laura333_fml 8
I hope she helped clean it up and gave u some money to clean it up
bubblyhayley 16
why is feeding her baby a negative thing?
Nirah_fml 18
"I'm not saying . . . bathrooms". NOT saying. Can you read?
Nirah_fml 18
That posted on the wrong comment. Though, in response to yours, the FML says nothing about feeding a baby being negative. However, feeding your baby while expecting someone to take your measurements (meaning they need free access to your body and will probably need you to move about a bit, like lifting your arms) is rude and inconsiderate for the person trying to do the job. Plus there was puke.
Jupsi_fml 12
I completely understand the FML, no one wants to see anyone else's breast milk puked all over their desk. Anyway, I really hate all these judgmental comments about not to breastfeed in public. It makes me sick.
Huddisher 10
Kasey Kahne hates public breastfeeding. Apparently you're a bitch if you disagree. Keeping it classy.
ilytyvm 25
that sounds incredibly gross... I hope no one else in the room was a sympathy puker...
KaylieeJay 4
I think that so many people have misunderstood the true FML of the post (or at least what I think the OP was trying to say in the limited space available of a FML). OP was taking the woman's measurements while she was holding her screaming child. While OP was still measuring part of the woman's body, she pulls out her boob to feed her child, all while OP was still taking measurements. It would have been polite of the woman to let OP know - in this day and age of lawsuits and sue-happy people, I don't blame anyone for being uncomfortable in this situation. It's one thing for a mother to breastfeed their child in public (as they have a right to do so) but it's another thing to do so while another human is trying to measure their body. Just a little heads up "Oh can we take a five minute break while I feed Jnr" or even "Do you mind if I feed Jnr while you do this?" would be very polite in this situation. Not to mention the vomiting on the desk which could have quite easily destroyed documents or important information - no fault to the baby but still sucks
Vegeto30294 19
It seems like some people are forgetting about common decency. Just because you CAN use formula doesn't mean you always SHOULD Just because you CAN feed in the bathroom doesn't mean you always SHOULD Just because you CAN whip your breasts out in public doesn't mean you always SHOULD If there is a moment where you have to breastfeed in public, at least ask for a moment to yourself before you do. I'm not saying formula, bathrooms, bottles & breast pumps or anything of the sort, but its not the right time to feed the baby and still try to get served by someone.
grayeyedmarine 14
no one should ever have to go to the bathroom to nurse
Nirah_fml 18
"I'm not saying . . . bathrooms". NOT saying. Can you read?