Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Not cool
Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML
Oh, hello…
Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML
Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML
Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML
Damp patch
Today, it was my first day back to work since having my first baby. To show I'd caught up on everything, I had to give a presentation at the end of the day to the heads of my department. It went really well until the end, when one of them pointed out that breast milk had been leaking through my clothes the entire time. FML
Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML
Classic mistake
Today, after I finished giving my baby a bottle then burping her, I lifted her up and was bringing her in for kisses. As I was doing this, I felt this warm liquid hit my lips and slide into my mouth. I instantly pulled her back and she'd vomited. It took everything out of me not to vomit myself. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I was at work and a lady came in with a cake - I work as a nurse in a pediatrics ward. While we were eating the cake, she told us she used her breast milk instead of normal milk. Now all of us nurses have to be tested. FML
Bittie
Today, it was my brother's wedding so my mother-in-law was taking care of my 8-month-old son. When I came back to our room to check how things were going, I saw her "breastfeeding" my child. She said it was the only way to calm him down because he didn't have a pacifier. FML
Top comments
laaryssa 21
I'm all for public breastfeeding, it's not sexual or anything but that was te wrong place and wrong time
happle 21
Have you never been around an infant before? Mothers breast feed their children; it's a part of life. In addition, infants have little to no control over what comes out o their bodies, so I'm certain the mother could have done nothing to stop it.
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Comments (250)
happyfingers 15
Well... I mean... The kids gotta eat. Sucks that your stuff got puked on though. :/
cbroady0529 9
I want to know what she was being measured for that takes so long she would rather nurse while doing it than just finish up then nurse. I know it's not really relevant but it's irking me. I am mommy to a one month old and breastfeed in public when need be. I'm always discreet and have never had a problem. I'm not sure why this lady wouldn't either put the kid down for just a minute so the measurements could quickly be completed, or excuse herself to nurse then come back in when the baby is calm and finish up.
TheDrifter 24
I'm wondering the same thing. The mother here sounds like one of the instant gratification "I Will do what I want, at the very instant I decide I want to do it" sorts of new mothers that believe the world should stop because they have an infant with them. They're a minority of mothers, but they're the ones that get remembered and give the rest a bad name.
cookie1207 19
You could have sold some of that milk to the guy asking for it....
Krispies_fml 17
YDI for posting a FML about it....!
KawaiiCupcake 14
Мне очень интересно ти мужчина или женщина?
horneyhic 15
Yes
KawaiiCupcake 14
lol trolling?
worldclassrager 41
She didn't have a pacifier for the time being?
bananawatson 1
not all babys use a pacifier.. its actually a nasty habit to break.
stretchedthin 20
don't be a wimp a little spit isn't anything and who cares if she started nursing there deal with it I do it all the time.
Shade1982 21
A 'little' spit? You don't have a kid do you. The volumes a child can produce are staggering, they can put an average Irish drinker to shame...
cbroady0529 9
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she does have a kid, considering she breastfeeds in public "all the time". But I'll give you the point for spit up not always being a little thing. I swear I've witnessed my daughters expel more than they even ingested at some points.
SarMarJo 17
I'm not going to say you deserve it, but your life isn't ******, either. In the past 3 years (my oldest daughter's age) I have breastfed for a total of 24 months (combining both of my children) and my youngest still nurses occasionally as she isn't completely weaned yet. I can understand why you would be upset, but from a mothers point of view, her baby was hungry. She was going to fees her hungry baby. Would it be any worse if it was a bottle?
KawaiiCupcake 14
Exactly! Formula milk is not the same... Mom's milk is better for the child. There are moms who care about their children well being not care what BS society thinks! Wish people could understand this...
Shade1982 21
Ah ok, next time I'm going to whip my dick out in public just so I can pee there and then... Since this is also a natural phenomenon, this should be perfectly normal... Right?
Shade1982 21
It has also been proving scientifically multiple times that current formula is NOT inferior to breastmilk, so NO, there is no need for this anymore... There is this little thing called technology, and we use this to improve products. Because of this, products we use now are superior to products we used 10 years ago.
tiarnatargaryen 23
115, OP never mentioned having a problem with public breastfeeding. I personally would never pull out my boob and breast feed while I'm being served by someone. It's just courtesy to ask for a few moments to yourself, instead of revealing yourself without warning.
snugglesMcGee199 23
Formula is a poor substitute for breast milk and it should only be used in case that the mother is unable to produce milk or can't produce enough. It is not at all comparable to the nutritional benefits of breast milk.
Jupsi_fml 12
139 That's just not true. Formula is only a substitute for mums who can't or don't want to breastfeed, but breast milk stay a million times better. Nutrients, taste, antibodies, easier to digest... I feel so sorry for your precious technology !
Kizeree 2
May I ask for your source material for this factually incorrect statement? There is absolutely no scientific proof formula is superior to breast milk. Formula is a dead substance, breast milk is a live fluid containing antibodies, stem cells, even cancer killing cells. Formula contains pesticides, manufactured vitamins and cows milk produces. Tell me how is it "better" to fees human infants the milk of a different species, but it's somehow obscene to feed a human infant milk of their own species.
Parkour_rocks 20
Formula is better than breastmilk just like GMO crops are better than organic. All media and corporation hype. They just want your money. Why pay for something that worse when you can get something better free? Absolutely no reason at all. Except media brainwashing.
cbroady0529 9
Oh dear lord, it's not the same thing. Douchebag.
cbroady0529 9
They are very comparable, nutritionally. Breastmilk provides antibodies that formula cannot replicate and that's about it. But if a woman has the ability to breastfeed, why in the HELL would she fork over $30+ for a can of formula??
monnanon 14
no matter how you feed your kid you should not be demonised for it. breastfeeding mothers you lose a wee bit of your moral high ground over public breasfeeding when you tell other mothers they are not doing the best for their child by bottle feeding.
katie1989 9
Yeah you do that, and when the cops come try to explain to them that you were trying to feed your baby. Asshole
peacejunior 12
She is just so into multitasking
grayeyedmarine 14
your ignorance in the statement goes to show what's wrong with people....