Today, at work at daycare, this kid was coughing really bad, so I put my hand in front of his mouth in case he was choking on something so he could spit it out. But nope he wasn't choking, he was sick. He puked right into my hands. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after feeling sick all day at work, my shift was about to end. Twenty minutes before I was able to clock out, some kid puked all over herself in the playground. FML
Today, I was putting a wristband on a little boy's wrist so he could swim in the waterpark. Just before I finished, he coughed all over my hands and arms. I finished and looked up at the boy just in time for us to make eye contact and for him to cough directly into my face. FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, at the small daycare I run, I turned around to put something away. I heard a splashing sound and then saw one of my kids vomiting. He puked several times, and managed to hit the only rug in the entire house. FML
Today, after changing and dressing my 6-month-old into his super cute brand new outfit, I saw the telltale sign of him about to vomit. Without thinking, I cup my hand under his mouth and catch it all. I had to sit there with a hand full of puke and nowhere to dump it. FML
Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML
Today, a mother and son were in my office. The kid wasn't feeling well and threw up. Mom covered his mouth with her hand, creating a vomit nozzle and covering me in puke. She yelled that I deserved to be sprayed on because I was not quick enough in getting a bucket for her son. FML
Today, I was at work, the Disney Store. A little boy was crying so I went over to him. After talking to him for a little while I found out he couldn't find his mother. When he became comfortable I went to help him stand up, he choked back his tears and then puked all over me from the waist down. FML
Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML
Today, one of the kids at the daycare center I work at was so excited at the fact that his constipation was over, he felt the need to bring me his fecal matter, in his hands, to show me. Guess who had to clean up the aftermath. FML
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Top comments
miss_jelly 0
so having a kid spit up some mystery object in your hand is okay, but puke isn't...
containsnosoy 0
So when a kid may be choking, your first reaction is to stick your hand in their face instead of, you know, trying to save their life? It sucks that you were puked on, but it wouldn't have sucked more if the boy died. Plus, you work at a daycare, this is almost inevitable.
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Comments (89)
FerrariCake 2
You have to learn how to work a daycare: you should have told one of the other kids to put their hand in front of the choking kid's face. Then you can take a video when the choking kid pukes on the other kid. They have to learn to help each other and not assume that you'll do everything for them. And you can make some money from the funny video.
FatSheldon 2
what does OP mean
TheComputerGuy96 16
Original Poster.
Compass 0
So you decided to protect the ground from an object he was (not) choking on instead of helping him dislodge it? And it's not like he's a dog either. "Put it down. Good boy."
QueenCrunch 0
I laughed so hard at that.
idkweird 0
How exactly were they going to help dislodge it? When the child/person is still coughing, they have to dislodge it themselves. CPR classes teach you not to slap the back as it could then cause the person to ACTUALLY choke on it.
perfectsmile7 0
wats OP?
Jazzgirl4ever 0
Orignal poster
carkel 0
I'm not seeing your logic in thinking he could willingly spit out something he's choking on
dontpanic_fml 32
Kinda stupid...
stella23 0
He couldn't spit the imaginary object onto the floor? Your hand could have been a life saver rather than a vomit catcher.
dochoc_fml 0
why would your hand over his mouth help him spit it out?
ILostMyPants 0
Which would be ewwww either way...
Trixies100 0
ewwwww u gots the puke on ya