Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
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Top comments
GreenMonster68 11
It had to be done
slayertack 19
Your uncle's awesome.
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Comments (150)
Shikamaru_fml 11
Before punting the kid your uncle should have shouted as loud as possible THIS IS SPARTA
catanita 18
At that pool there is no lifeguard on duty to solve this kind of issues?
sanchezjesus368 7
out of curiosity what ever happened to Perdix, Snickerdoodle, Dr Boner, Apex? they were gods well maybe not snickers she was the king of trolls but what happened to them is this the new gen?
eternalibra 14
Perdix is still around which is nice. Haven't seen snicker or anyone else though really like pendatik or drybones(?) they kinda disappeared
ally8 21
That kids an asshole
nismo98 14
Did He Yell This Is Sparta!!!? That Would've Made It That Much More Awesome
Geometric 18
You might have been kicked out but you'll still have the sweet memory of giving a little shit what he deserved. :D
WildOshawott 7
That sucks
Monique_operario 11
Lol that's awesome
mrsnugglefunny 10
That dick deserved to get kicked
Mjwnenrjs 17
Kids need more of that these days