Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML
Today, I was at the pool with two boys I babysit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML
Today, I got chewed out by a parent for putting her kid underwater. I teach swim lessons. FML
Today, while lifeguarding, a kid thought it'd be hilarious to take a crap in the pool. The other kids freaked out and rushed to get out. Several of them slipped on the way out and hurt themselves fairly badly. Two parents are now threatening to sue us, and my boss blames me. FML
Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML
Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML
Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML
Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML
Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML
Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML
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Top comments
GreenMonster68 11
It had to be done
slayertack 19
Your uncle's awesome.
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Comments (150)
Nyx_fml 23
Your uncle would have a bright future kicking someone's balls in the NFL.
bobthemarley 6
What the heck does your profile picture mean? Its bugging me, if its supposed to be a form of e= mc^2 i cant see it, if its supposed to be a mockery of it i cant see it either
Nyx_fml 23
It is something known as Sumo Science.
TheCanucklehead 22
I hear the Patriots are looking for a kicker. Will Tebow be the ball?
iBanana 17
You know, I get rather worked up when I see people making jokes about Tim Tebow. You might not agree with what he does but give him the respect he deserves for standing up for what he believes in in front of tens of millions of people. I also think he's a kick ass American football player, but I play football so what do I know?
\ 28
OP's uncle sounds like an awesome guy, but I instantly voted YDI upon sight of OP's username.
ironichalibut 24
24 E equals mr deity over did it
bobthemarley 6
Oic ... He insults sir Einstein .... Boooooooooo (yes i know he wasn't knighted, but if movie stars get knighthood Einstein bloody well should have).
hallix 21
This entire thread of comments has somehow taken a turn and become so off-topic... I don't understand.
IHATEFMYLIFE 26
This comment Only referring to a profile picture. Needs to be removed.
ZombieInConverse 13
Your uncle has some anger issues.
Dracoboxer357 36
2- Forget that, he just was the right guy at the right place at the time! I say give that man a medal. ;)
ohcheriecherie 20
16, I disagree. if the kid must be punted, leave it to the parents.
rawr_ily96 24
#32, I think if the parents were there, they would've done something. If they actually were, then they are probably some of those parents who let their child do whatever they want.
Ian7890 23
I think thats good that he did that. Kids nowadays are so spoiled and I think they need to be put in their place.
Fluffasuars_Rawr 15
The brat deserved it. He wouldn't get out of the god damn way.
ZingZilla 8
PUNTERS ARE PEOPLE TOO...
DK_91 9
I agree with 32 who totally got hates on. whether or not the kid deserved it, you can't just go around pushing other people's kids. if no one did anything about it that would suck, but life is unfair. op getting kicked out is toy predictable in this situation.
Krystal3408 32
It wasn't her uncle being a dumbass
goose12321 11
I'm sick to death of everyone always standing up for ******* kids. If you're going to be a little shit, then you should get treated like one and get your ass handed to you, not ******* treated as the victim.
Emily062611 6
I generally agree with having the parents deal with it, but at the pool it can be kind of difficult to figure out who the kid came there with. I'd say lifeguard next, but I don't think there's really anything they can do to make him move. So the uncle just skipped a couple steps, but he solved it.
monnanon 14
regardlass of how shitty the kid is being it is not ok for a stranger to physically deal with someone elses kids. should hqve given the idea to a slightly older kid and got them to do it.
Chris93Jones 20
he should apologize to the entitled spoiled brat. (sarcasm)
KiddNYC1O 22
It's fun to punt little brats! Lmao.
GreenMonster68 11
It had to be done
Damian95 16
There was no other way.
webbface 25
Right? Some kids need to learn to share!
Jjimen1654 9
23 i would go under water an pull his legs to get him in the water and swim under water to the other end so i go unnoticed.
kozzard 17
48: brilliant plan until you take the clear pool water into consideration.
evilplatypus 39
48 - How low is your hypothetical diving board? Or better yet, how long are your arms that you can remain hidden underwater while you pull a kid off the diving board?
hallix 21
Plus, it'd leave a nasty scrape all down the kid's back. Pushing them is actually safer, from my experience.
slayertack 19
Your uncle's awesome.
AfroNinja6810 11
It would have only been better if he yelled "THIS IS SPARTA" as he was kicking the kid off.
rememberkids 14
this reminds me of mister bean...
Shazam25 7
I'd have done the same thing.
Caitie_kid 8
My question is where were this kids parents!?!? Why weren't THEY handling the situation!?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
He had the right idea. If the kid wanted to be a rotten dick head, and apparently he needed a swift kick in the ass.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Reading over that I realized it came off a bit haggard. My bad.
HeatherFeatherB 31
Nah, your comment was just fine. I am thinking the same way.
MTCoralReefer 10
yea, spot on. made me laugh
lolfood 24
A quite literal kick in the ass.
badluckross 21
Welcome to life, kid.
UnluckyGenius 21
Sometimes it kicks your ass.
webbface 25
Or punts your ass into a pool.
Michael_92 20
He just did what everyone else wanted to do...
mackdeezy 22
Well.... kid had to go off eventually
PenultimateTaco 14
Fact: kids don't die and go off. Instead, they turn into adults. Space magic
Mrs_Jones_ 3
Best thing I've heard all day hands down! Lmao