Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old son attempted to rob the bank I work at while I was off shift. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML
Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I can see a very good life coming from this kid. Maybe not a legal one, but a rich one none the less.
Mariebaz 11
Why did you allow your son to bring a gun- even a fake- into a bank in the first place?
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Comments (147)
lucasf_fml 0
Why does he deserve it lol?
rene22 18
They let their kid enter a bank with a realistic looking toy gun.
outoftown 27
#68, and the yelling FREEZE part
BaconBoy75 2
If the dim-witted parent didn't take their kid into a bank with a realistic looking gun, this could have been avoided.
Geekgirl87 6
Bank policy is no matter how silly or unreal the threat is for a robbing we have to take it seriously. So that is not something you want to joke about in a bank. You deserve it for letting your kid into a bank with a fake gun.
brandy1 5
LOL! If you can't do the time you shouldn't do the crime!
imagineapc 11
Anyone who agrees with OP that the teller is dim-witted, and not OP themselves has clearly never seen Meet the Parents. You can't yell bomb on a plane, even if you don't really have one!
mommy_me 4
Ass Whoopingg Time
xitalian86bellax 1
Your calling the teller a dimwit? Your the one who allowed your son to bring a realistic looking gun to the bank and "hold up " the store ... Looks like your the dimwit !
michelele 0
i think that's cute
Jewbenita 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you'd think that bank tellers would be smarter, considerering they handle money and do math all day.
kasiesunshine 7
yeah...because it was the bank teller who is the dim-witted one...not the parent who let their kid bring a gun (regardless of it being fake) into a bank. parent of the year award right there!