Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old son attempted to rob the bank I work at while I was off shift. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML
Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I can see a very good life coming from this kid. Maybe not a legal one, but a rich one none the less.
Mariebaz 11
Why did you allow your son to bring a gun- even a fake- into a bank in the first place?
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Comments (147)
MasterL 3
Why do some people take FML's so seriously?
rickAUS 22
Never mind taking it seriously, but why/how can people make so many assumptions about the situation. Granted most parents buy their kids toys but this particular one might have come from a relative, be owned by the child's friend, been stolen by the child during the trip.. who knows? If the parent didn't buy it they might not have even known they owned a toy gun. When I was a kid I was good at hiding things I wasn't allowed to have, I doubt that has changed much over time. Secondly, I was never searched for things when I left for a day out. If I was dressed that's where it ended. For everyone saying "you should know what your child has when you go out" I assume, like they are doing here, that they search their own children before going somewhere - if not then they can shut up about that issue. And if they do, they have some serious issues to resolve with their kids if they need to do that in the first place. Thirdly, the teller isn't dim-witted. Pressing the silent alarm for a robbery is common sense. Ignore who says what, as soon as a robbery is threatened hit it. Deal with a mistake later. So overally it's a flip between YDI and FYL, depending on who gave child the toy and wheter OP knew about it. No judgement being made by me on this one: too many questions.
GoldenGrizzly 7
You are the one who purchased your child that toy and let them bring the toy with them to the bank. This is on you.
football98_fml 20
Haha das funy
wolverine47 10
Awwhh he's all grown up. I think we know what profession he'll be going into... xD
Tgo19053 15
Ah blaming other people for your terrible parenting skills. Good work OP, YDI
blink_kid 32
You took your kid into bank when he had a toy gun? Clever.
clynnc19 9
He would've been in a lot of trouble if that were my kid.
CallMeBloo 31
There are tons of epically shitty parents out there who use their children to catch innocent people by surprise and commit crimes. The bank teller did exactly what he or she was supposed to do. Discipline your kid for what he did, and for hell's sake stop buying toy guns that look like real ones. YOUR fault.
thescyphozoa 6
I thought realistic toy guns were illegal.
melissahoefs83 2
The teller is dimwitted because you are an idiot and allowed your child to bring a realistic looking toy gun to a bank? YDI