Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old son attempted to rob the bank I work at while I was off shift. FML
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, I took my 4 year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed, "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex." FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML
Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML
Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML
Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML
Today, my son is so pathetic that when a tiny, unarmed 5-foot tall female thief robbed our store, he didn’t grab the baseball bat, he didn’t slam the anti-theft door on the counter closed, he didn’t even press the big alarm button, he just started crying, put his hands up, and let her empty the till. FML
Today, at the bank, I went to get some coffee from their machine. I gave it my money and pressed the buttons but nothing was happening. After banging on the machine for ten minutes and calling a teller over, a little boy reached up on his tippy toes to press the giant green START button for me. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
I can see a very good life coming from this kid. Maybe not a legal one, but a rich one none the less.
Mariebaz 11
Why did you allow your son to bring a gun- even a fake- into a bank in the first place?
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Comments (147)
nickolascronk 3
Your fault for so many reasons
betterdaysahead 14
to much sponge bob lol
jasonstackhouse 10
Bad parenting.
rockurheart 9
Note to self: never bring kids to bank.
corruptedlol 2
No signs of intelligent life..
shamonie22 9
It's your fault for allowing him to play with a toy gun! YDI
ganjaone 2
Damn bastard!
sacredeye73 11
In light of what happened in Colorado this morning, why the f*ck would you let your lid out in public with a toy gun. No taste, no class, no brains.
MrMeaner88 3
What does a shooting in Colorado have to do with anything in New Zealand?
Krulin 8
Because American problems are totally the number one priority of someone on the other side of the planet.
NayrGuy 0
The teller is not dim-witted, I would have done the same, in the world live in today, I wouldn't doubt anything.
tianna914 5
That was childish.... On the bank tellers part! Young children say that all the time and I doubt that was the first time it happened to him/her! They were just looking for a scene
Levvy 22
I want you to try imagining yourself telling the family of someone who was shot by an underage kid, "Hey, they should have assumed it was impossible!" Try it. Just run that scenario through your head.