Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML
Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML
Today, I got married. When my father gave me away, in front of hundreds of people, to my groom, he said, "She's your problem now." FML
Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML
Today, my friend's father got me mixed up with his new wife when telling stories for his wedding speech. Everyone noticed. The new wife was not pleased. FML
Today, my dad told me he liked men. While he was making a drunken speech. At my wedding. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be appropriate to get drunk at my wedding and include in his father of the bride speech all the very bad things I did as a child, before I got the psychiatric help I needed. My in-laws were giving me death glares, and his nana yelled, “Shame on you!” at me. FML
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
Screw those people. You're going on a honeymoon with your new wife.
iBluePancake 4
Lol hangover 2 .. Anyone??
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Comments (68)
nickmed03 1
Considering that you are a married man and still on FML I would've agreed also(;
desireev 18
What is wrong with married people being on FML?? There are A LOT of married people on this site.. It's a form of entertainment.. Are you insinuating that only teenagers and not-settled-down people are the only ones that should be on here? If that was the case, then there wouldn't be a "Kids" section and we'd only see stories about McDonalds come out of the "Work" section.. Even the best stories from "Intimacy" come from married people!! So shut up already!! Find another site to comment on!!
bigtaytay 13
Quick retaliation: "Really, you think so? Well I'm still banging your daughter so I'm doing something right"
KNA_fml 2
I think that's how it'll be for me if I get married to the guy I'm with....
crazyrunnergirl 7
Well not everyone agreed. You wife didn't!
hodula1 19
Score! Means you married up. I'd consider that a FTW on your part.
desireev 18
Yeah because a completely-fit-workaholic is what I'd want to marry.. I'm just saying.. Every father will say that his daughter is too good for her groom. And I doubt any sane woman would marry a unemployed slob like you're insinuating OP is. So maybe the advice you gave isn't the best..
someusername 0
Forget those jerks. Your wife loves you and that's all that matters.
hateevryone 15
did your wife agree too? if so, you married the wrong person.
anthonychrstian 1
Isn't that the point? To have a spouse that's better than you? Lol
syraxthered 5
Congrats, looks like you married up