Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I called my brother to share the news that I've been sober for a month. He invited me to a bar to celebrate. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
You or the both of you?
Today, I celebrated my friend's 5-month sobriety milestone with her by getting absolutely wasted. FML
Slippery slope
Today, my mom celebrated a year's sobriety by having a couple of beers with her boyfriend. FML
Milestone
Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML
Cruel trick
Today, it's my one-year anniversary of being sober. For the occasion, my father decided to spice-up my non-alcoholic cocktail with booze. I didn't realize, and drank it. FML
Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML
The wagon
Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML
I'm not drunk, you're drunk!
Today, I came home from partying all night, having stayed completely sober. My Dad, blind drunk, told me he was proud of me for staying sober. He claims to have been sober longer than I have. FML
Wine about it
Today, as a recovering alcoholic, I'm at a conference where letting loose is expected and, to a point, encouraged. I've been sober for 2.5 years and am pretty sure I managed to piss off just about everyone with how miserable I was listening to them describe my former favorite mixed drinks and shots. I miss wine. FML
Pour some more funny!
Today, my alcoholic friend, who is now sober, told me I was a lot more fun when he was drinking. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Top comments
Jaxx66 21
Seems like you shouldn't be calling him for a while! Sorry OP, keep up the good work though!
itsbreyo 5
I don't understand why people vote for "you deserve it" on posts like these. Great job OP ;)
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Comments (145)
Jaxx66 21
Seems like you shouldn't be calling him for a while! Sorry OP, keep up the good work though!
BatteryAddict 11
Oooh the irony!
StoryOfTheYear 15
8- Irony? What irony?
missamazinggg 12
He just wanted to celebrate:) congratulations OP!
cherry26272627 6
8- Oh the irony *that is so obvious and the whole meaning of the fml that there is no reason to comment on it
ShroomsOnAcid 17
Well, you know you've truly recovered when you can walk into a bar, and stay there through the night without even feeling temptation. Seems like you've got some way to go, but you can get there eventually. It's an incredible feeling to overcome an addiction - better than the feeling of whatever you were addicted to in the first place. Stay strong OP, it'll all be worth it in the end.
Keyman1212 14
Dude, he's been sober a month. Alcoholics who have been sober for ten YEARS will drink when put in a situation like that. It's like smoking crack rock around someone who's been off the pipe for a month. They're gonna want a hit. (I'm assuming. Crack sounds disgusting.) Edit: didn't fully read your comment. Just skimmed it. My bad. Well it all goes the same for anyone saying its fine for him to go visit the bar right now.
BatteryAddict 11
Oh well... Op is doing an excellent job. Keep it up OP. :)
StoryOfTheYear 15
23- What a great username for such a statement, but indeed, overcoming obstacles is very satisfying and I'm sure addictions are even more satisfying to conquer.
lifeguardd 0
How else can u celebrate something ?? Drinking is the way ! Sober is not good.
GoW_Chick 15
34- So you use to drink at your birthday parties when you were younger? Hmmm... I bet you're parents were the 'cool' ones. Party at lifeguardd's house!
Keyman1212 14
Saw that quick edit 41. Good save. But I'm only going to a party at his house if there's a pool. And and air castle. And lots of alcohol. And a clown making balloon animals. And maybe a petting zoo.
Keyman1212 14
Well shit, I'm sorry guys, looks like Lifeguardd just got banned tonight in one fell swoop for telling me to go **** myself, and then saying something else rude when I gave a reasonable rebuttal. Looks like we won't be having a party at his place after all. :/
GovernorGeneral 8
Beer : its been a while ehh jonny. Jonny : mnn Beer : drink meeeeee drink meeee. Jonny : ...why the **** is the beer talking to me. Ive been sober a month damnit. Dx
farnsworth 3
"GF and BF sitting together bf drinks beer And says I love u, the GF blushes and says is that u or the beer talking? The bf says its me talking...to my beer"
GovernorGeneral 8
Funny joke. Funny joke. ....Funny joke.
GoW_Chick 15
43- damn you caught me, I didn't even see his reply and haha lifeguardd got erased, isn't fun to be immature sometimes...no, just me?
Lauren324 18
34- Not everyone is happy and nice when they are drinking, most of my family members are alcoholics.. So have some respect!
thejewishfuhrer 17
Give in to the dark side of the force... They have beer. And cookies....
worldwidechopper 0
Mmmmm beer
boofgall 16
So, say no?
boofgall 16
Actually, that comment was pretty ignorant. I have no idea what you're going through, OP, but stay strong.
suxs4ulol 22
I'm pretty sure they lied about the cookies:(
Keyman1212 14
And the cake. Hint: the cake isn't real.
Amrel 10
The cake is a lie.
Keyman1212 14
Glados was a total bitch.
Amrel 10
Valve is being a bitch:/ they never make a game trilogy, i want a l4d3
Keyman1212 14
They're crafty as shit. They do it in two's to **** with us. Half Life, Portal, Left For Dead... I'm not sure why?
Amrel 10
Team fortress, all i know is they are probably the best though seeing as they never stop updating their games. Tf2 is close to 10 years old and its still getting updated and its also free on steam. Valve is the shit I do like other games i just wish publishers like activision would go to hell
ALLDAY88 8
L4d and portal were probably some of the best games I played. L4d vs. is still my favorite online game.
JacobWithaY 5
Great job at helping OP out with video game chat! Keep up the good work:)
biasedshooter 24
Is it... Dark beer?
alexup24 13
So helpful...
upsidedownfrownn 5
We did :) but isn't that why they call it the dark side?
I_Punch_Babies 7
whats one little drink gonna do? everyone is doing it!
ChaosAngel17 14
So OP isn't a recovering alcoholic? Must've been a typo in the FML.
yahoowizard 16
So 3 isn't being sarcastic? Must have been fail interpretation
Amrel 10
Actually 36 there was a typo in the FML. After "Today," there is 2 spaces instead of 1. Not that big a deal, but still a typo
buck33 14
So sarcasm isn't hard to understand when people type it? Wait.. It is
kitkatknicknack 12
Don't listen to 3, he punches babies and encourages people to get wasted
kristena103 14
Not me jerk ????
kristena103 14
Forget the ???? Lol
I_Punch_Babies 7
i only encourage women to get wasted...and only when theyre pregnant
trollfaced 2
Did you go with him?
DKParth13 5
No.
markrs 0
This should only be an FML if he did go with him.
GoWithTheFro 10
Maybe he just wasn't thinking?...
noobgang7 5
He was testing the OP
xSonic 9
Good thinking. Get drunk and you won't remember a damn thing :) Jk dude but he's just testing you duh
noncomposmentis 6
Agreed. Besides, bars sells non-alcoholic drinks too.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
Wow, really? You think that because bars sell non-alcoholics drinks that a recovering alcoholic should be fine going there? He's going to be sitting in a room where almost everyone else is drinking, and the wall behind the bar is a display of hard liquor bottles illuminated to show them off. Bad.Idea.
itsbreyo 5
I don't understand why people vote for "you deserve it" on posts like these. Great job OP ;)
Amrel 10
Maybe they were drunk when they read it
AddeU 0
I think some people accidentally select the "you deserved it" option when they intend to open the FML to see comments.
constipatedlady 0
Deserves it for becoming an alcoholic in the first place.
jerseyboy732 16
Get your drink on!
Amrel 10
Did they offer AA handbooks as coasters at this bar? Did you also try to steal a Police officers horse?
cherry26272627 6
Haha I love other fml references!
GoW_Chick 15
"No ocifer I'm not drunking drive,*hiccup*"
kcircuses 1
swear to drunk I'm not god
Amrel 10
Oh mu gad! Wheres MrMisfit? This FML is his calling. We need a misfit here, and his comments
cosmosis 12
66- no. Thats the last thing the internet needs....
alexup24 13
I see what ya' did there
DalPozzo13 10
That's a dick move. The idea of him wanting to celebrate is nice, but I feel like he did that on purpose