Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I cooked dinner for the girl I've been dating. Everything was going well until I accidentally set off the smoke alarm. The fire department showed up, and my date spent the rest of the evening flirting with one of the firefighters, so I guess we weren't actually dating? FML
Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I burned myself while cooking, so I asked my mom to get the burn cream while I waited in the kitchen. While I was waiting, I absentmindedly set my hand on the hot stove, earning myself a second burn. FML
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
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Top comments
jennawill10 10
Hopefully thatll be a story you can tell your kids someday ;)
sassypenguinxox 15
Wow you're so smooth, you're smoking hot
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Comments (139)
jennawill10 10
Hopefully thatll be a story you can tell your kids someday ;)
22jrdn55 15
and this is 'how I met your mother'!
worldwidechopper 0
See hot girl, try to act cool, catch shirt on fire. CLOSE ENOUGH (H)
suxs4ulol 22
Oh the irony.
Keyman1212 14
13's comment and 10's meme pic go perfectly together, seeing as how that's normally the close enough rage face.
iSeeSarcasm 3
Maybe if he gets it in the right hole.
GovernorGeneral 8
Me ! Me ! Me toooooo!! Im a meme picture too Dx
GovernorGeneral 8
< --- ( at fml)
lolmonster34 0
Of course Future OP: yea so the day I met your mom.....you know nvm
Country29 16
Maybe she found it cute...
amypatel21 2
Good one!
Vikkichikkii 2
I just banged someone I met on hoookupstonight.gu.ma
blushy 14
lol you really got things heated up
worlds123dumbest 4
57- Nothing says cute as burning flesh.
tpm45 25
Once I leaned on an industrial stove that looked a lot the like rest of the walls from the side. Let's just say I still have scars.
josiefay 0
And that's just one more reason most establishments don't let customers in the back.
Miss_Kristen 10
Exactly, I don't know of any place that would let you waltz back there. Health code violation?
Keyman1212 14
Besides the fact that this happened in the United States, so a huge lawsuit should be ensuing any minute now against that restaurant...
kjcookie10 9
Smooth move slick.
Bajee 10
39- everyone doesn't just sue for the hell of it in the US. PLUS...he doesn't have a case.
Keyman1212 14
Doesn't have a case...? The restaurant let them into this dangerous situation. If burglars can sue people who's homes they've invaded and been injured, this individual can sue a kitchen for burns sustained from the shirt lighting on fire.
JacobWithaY 5
I thought OP played it too hot rather than too cool..
AmbrosiaWriter 17
@ 74: You can sue for anything - that doesn't mean you have a case or that you'll win it. There have been a lot of stupid lawsuits, and they get thrown out after getting all the publicity. "Yeah, your honor, I was trying to impress her and act cool and I didn't look at what I leaned on, knowing I was in a kitchen, and it was a stove. My shirt caught on fire." The judge would have to either be idiotic or bribed to not throw that case right out.
icefshng8 9
Have you not heard of some of the ridiculous lawsuits that HAVE gone through? The boy who was shooting a dog with a pellet gun and sued the owners of the dog for 50000 when it bit him The woman who mad a sandwich in the back of her tv while no one was driving and sued for 500000 and a new rv when it crashed because there were no warnings saying she couldn't The man who broke into a bar through a window 10 feet off the ground and broke his leg from the fall got 25000 The woman that sued for 2000000 because she burned herself when she spilt coffee on herself at a mcdonalds There are others, I read a whole article on them. The justice system is ******. OP could EASILY make a case and sue. The reason? Simply because the stove wasnt marked, or there wasn't a warning. Nevermind the health and safety violations for going into the kitchen unsanitized in the first place. Now, I'm not saying it's fair, cause it's not, but that's how shit works.....
ambamm135 7
As sad as it is op could sue. In a professional kitchen you must have a license and be trained to work in the kitchen. If a customer wished to complement the head chef, he or she is to come out or the waiter is to send the customers regards. Op should never have been allowed in the back. There are way to many safety issues to allow anyone who doesn't know what they Re doing back there. Also has no one heard of the McDonald's lady? The one who spilled her coffee upon herself and sued McDonald's AND WON? Pretty ridiculous.
sincerelyjay 13
Don't forget the loads of times people have tried to use the "slip and fall" method.
imustbeinsane 2
The mcdonalds thing is pretty inflated, supposedly it was much less but as part of the settlement the lady couldnt speak publicly about it and mcd could, which lead to some bias in the story. Just saying... Im not defending her, she didnt deserve anything but another free equally hot coffee to the face in my opinion
LouisianaBob 9
The mcdonalds case was about a 79 year old woman trying to open the lid off the coffee in a parked car and being burned badly enough to have third degree burns all over her legs and genitalia and only asking for money enough, $20,000, for the hospital bills that an 8 ounce cup of coffee did. she was awarded $640,000 in the end. I agree though she should get nothing I mean really who doesn't know that coffee will from mcdonalds at the time was a scalding 190 degrees Fahrenheit?
LouisianaBob 9
@jjreeb I found the top ten most ridiculous lawsuits list and all of them other than the McDonalds lawsuit were thrown out and it says so at the end of each summary of the case.
sassypenguinxox 15
Wow you're so smooth, you're smoking hot
Mercury03 13
Smoldering!
StoryOfTheYear 15
Yah, but seriously, this guy's on fire.
evillittleme 5
she can feel the heat I'm sure
Cobro 5
Probably the only time the line: "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" would work.
Mister_Triangle 21
92 - you broke the combo. They were on a hot streak and everything
Amrel 10
Wow you ended up being the hot one that night didnt you?
bjdavey 8
If OP's name is Tiana, and she had a crush on the chef. And the chef is a girl.. Does that mean......:0
bre_zip_it_up13 11
she thought the waitress was pretty not the the cook. she probably didn't who the cook was or how (s)he looked
Harpy20 24
Burning up...for you...baby. *screech*
nucky_fml 5
Was she cold?
25shark 5
No. Just....no.
StoryOfTheYear 15
OP: Hey babe, is it hot in here, or is it just me? Chef: No, it's your shirt.
fuzzywolf 8
Ooh, burn!
cosmosis 12
... Yes. Well read
I_Punch_Babies 7
those damn stoves keep disguising themselves as other things like tables and hand rests. go on and touch it!
xSonic 9
Just say, "Sorry miss, looks like I got the hots for you." Winking afterwards is optional
Miss_Kristen 10
I think it's mandatory
fancyclown 9
Unless you have a lazy eye.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
That's a guaranteed number right there!
Meowingtons500 18
Pfft breaking the ice?! OP melts the ice, using only his shirt and a stove. :)
Meowingtons500 18
Assuming OP is a guy. Pondering the username I'm not quite sure. ._.