Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bitched at by an old lady in Walmart for not wearing a mask. I had lowered my mask to use my inhaler, because I was having an asthma attack. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
This just sounds like a very humorous old lady to me. Hopefully I can still bring the jokes at that age.
XKXKKXK 10
My grandmother LOVES ********!
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Comments (74)
klorehore 24
I love it when old people go trolling in real life, it's quite hilarious considering you even told her what it means and she clearly just wanted to make you embarrassed ;)
KitGrey 4
You didn't have to say yes shoyluld have gone with 'I'll get you an inhaler'. Anyway sounds.like she was having you on.
day624 14
You cant "kindly explain" things to old people, she's earned her years and dammit she'll call it a ******* if she wants to
music_woman1 11
I just loved the wording of this comment :')
linkinpark98 24
Well? Did you give her one? People who need blow jobs shouldn't be kept waiting!
A7X_LoVeee 10
So how much did you charge? ;)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
$19.95 + shipping and handling. Act now, and you'll get a second ******** absolutely FREE!
KBeatz 5
This is what I meant with my second comment but maybe I worded it wrong. Curious...
KiiwiiRox 6
Lol if she's messing, I want to be as awesome as her when I get old! I don't want to get boring and turn into an old fart.
jwbfml 11
Yet another reason old people are cooler than me.
MissAmz 7
Well, she's elderly.. She can get away with saying all kinds of crazy things. :) Though, every time she'd ask for a '********', I would correct her each time by saying 'You mean, inhaler, ma'am?' and hold it up. Problem solved! :)
writergirl23 19
I would have said, "Yes, I have your inhaler, Ma'am."