Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was woken up from a nap by my cat attacking my face. Evidently, my husband thought it would be funny to shine a laser pointer on my cheek. FML
Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML
Today, one of my friends was playing with a laser pointer. When he pointed it in my direction, I swatted at it away like it was a bug. Apparently, I'm part cat. FML
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to surprise my cat with a fancy new toy. I spent $30 on a laser pointer. Turns out, my cat is terrified of lasers, and spent the next hour giving me the "You betrayed me" look from under the couch. FML
Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
Today, I played a harmless joke on my neighbors by pointing a laser pointer out of my window onto their wall. Apparently, my neighbors don't take jokes lightly as one of the sons pointed at my window while screaming and swearing, then took out a gang bandana and wrapped it around his face. FML
Today, I walked in on my brother shaving his nuts, all while giggling like a maniac and seemingly high out of his mind. FML
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Top comments
UsaTrackstar 0
Meow mix.... meatballs edition
malik_s 0
@ craylo you spent 5 minutes reading reading 2 sentences ? ಠ_ಠ
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Comments (127)
kelleyb323 0
first! hope the cat was declawed!
Kinttow 0
So...umm...What happened next?
pwincessa23 1
it was funny...
awesomenessjess 0
are they nice nuts?
oxrox 0
Isn't it obvious what happened next?
lolpwntdumass 0
lol I love ur little bro. I gotta try that...
Guuurlplease 0
That does sound funny. :)
Sunset_Taco 0
lol!!!!! my sister did the same to me. she also pointed it in my face. one eye is severely damaged due to the laser. the other was clawed out. I'm half blind now, I look like a freak, and I'm not mad at my kitty. I'm mad at my sister. don't hate the cat.
michael32123 0
@Sunset_Taco half blind? not like 3/4 blind cuz ur good eye is still in bad shape... and just wear sunglasses or sumthin :P I wouldn't be mad at my sister i'd be ******* pissed
Danielt104 6
Take a wild guess on what happened next 18
Danielt104 6
Sunset_Taco. Umm. FYL If you postef your story on here, it would probably go to the tops.
cralyo 0
Ok first of all, man up....its a cat. Unless that thing went ape shit on you, i feel like i just wasted 5 minutes of my life reading this. Anyone else agree?
malik_s 0
@ craylo you spent 5 minutes reading reading 2 sentences ? ಠ_ಠ
wooow_sucks_for_ 0
I hate when my brother gets the cat into my nuts. his hair gets all over the cashews and peanuts... it's gross
mitchpally 0
92.. do you think anyone will even think about thinking about believing that story I mean my god what happens next you discover the cure for cancer!?!
hollisterlover 0
no kids 4 youuu!!
hopiee 0
Oh yum :|
ShadowzI 0
nom nom(?)
infernofalcon 0
it's nomming time! =D
thisismitch 3
dude, hes an evil genius XD
HoesInaBox 0
nuts, nuts, nuts. that's all I see on FML these days.
MonsterSlayer13 5
true dat. :)
stewie1744 0
I do that shit all the time
jpjruler 0
just thought id add judging by your pic u probably don't have cats jumping at ur nuts all the time lol =P ..... or at least I hope so
missunwanted 0
I think ur hot email me [email protected]
iThink_fml 0
gayyyyyy
stewie1744 0
missunwanted, download the palringo app on iPod and join the group "little-t 127"
DogmaT_fml 4
Well, i think he has invented a new weapon. the attack cat. or the commando kitty COD - 'Target acquired send in the cats'
nyc718 0
#5 Do you know how I know you're still a virgin?
okeetard 2
I'm a virgin biotch is that a problem. you have crabs ho3.
maskedman 9
#24 Do you know how I know you're still a virgin?
okeetard 2
because I just said I was.
joshhh11 0
do you know how I know you're all virgins?
RJB 0
stfu losers
mfmylifesrsly 30
rofl. nothing wrong with being a virgin...except when your weird like 5. I'll pop all of yalls cherries!
stewie1744 0
lmao, a lil late for that my friend
stewie1744 0
a lil late for that my friend
DonkeyDelight 0
Why are people talking about intercourse?
mfmylifesrsly 30
because sex is the shit. and sucking dick. and ****.
DogmaT_fml 4
lol.
dumbhaters 0
dogma that was funny don't listen to online losers with no lives.
dumbhaters 0
mylifesrsly: sign me up...^_^
dumbhaters 0
but seriously. your obsessed with sex it's scary...
drilher244 0
that's all u r probably good for! put a T in front of RAMP and what do u get?
UsaTrackstar 0
Meow mix.... meatballs edition
yzaldana 0
And he was right, hahaha! sorry buddy... XP
ILIEKGIRLS 5
I want chicken I want liver Meow Mix Meow Mix please deliver...
JManHobbs 0
Yeah my friends have done this to me, if you were were wearing clothes you're most likely fine, get over it.
transam87 0
he's a keeper
zook182 0
YDI for earning a ******* cat you gayass bastard
infernofalcon 0
^ win
sevlen 0
owch hope ur ok