Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got bitched at by an old lady in Walmart for not wearing a mask. I had lowered my mask to use my inhaler, because I was having an asthma attack. FML
Today, I was on a walk when I ran into the woman whose kids I babysit. We had a quick chat, and I noticed she had just blown her driveway clean. As I left, I said "You did a nice blow job!" FML
Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, I was out with my friend. My six year old daughter was also with us. While we were walking through the parking lot, my daughter asked me in a very loud voice "Mommy, does a blow job taste bad?" FML
Today, whilst working in a pharmacy, I was given the pleasure of listening to an old lady share the details of what she sticks up her vagina. FML
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said, "Was that good?" She was serious. FML
Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML
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Top comments
KBeatz 5
This just sounds like a very humorous old lady to me. Hopefully I can still bring the jokes at that age.
XKXKKXK 10
My grandmother LOVES ********!
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Comments (74)
Dalliance 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So you gave her one? FYL.
MetalxSoldier 26
Maybe she'll give you one back. I've seen "Yes man" and if she has no teeth, you'll get the best ******** of your life!
AbstraktThoughts 13
Haha old folks can get away with anything! ;)
elodymayweeble 7
She CAN call it whatever she'd like. You explained to her why it might not be the best idea to call it that.
KBeatz 5
This just sounds like a very humorous old lady to me. Hopefully I can still bring the jokes at that age.
LO388 7
Also, better than an old man...
iTrumpet 7
I want to be that old lady. I will find ways to troll everyone..
NOOBSQUAD 0
I would be laughing my ass off if I were in line. "Can I please have a ******* now?" OP mutters "here's your ******* mam" Whole line erupts into laughter.
domking1315 20
I read this comment in a sophisticated voice in my head
SerendipityRose 26
I think she was joking, too... OP should have seen how far they could take it before she laughed. "Make sure to always bring your ******** with you to restaurants. Blow jobs after eating out is a must."
AKGirlinSD 20
I think this old lady knew what she was saying. I just wish we knew Original Poster's sex because it would be way funnier if he/she was a female haha.
XKXKKXK 10
My grandmother LOVES ********!
Codezlol 21
She didn't even buy you dinner first??
Codezlol 21
Ugh that was meant as my own post and not a reply. Sorry for that mental image folks!
cheefer 0
I wonder how tight her butt is
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Dafuq?
NoOneCaresReally 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Don't you normally need a blow-job before the exercise?
draegbomb 5
When did it ever say that she was exercising?
savour 0
You can blow me any day
brendayyyyy 2
Maybe she calls it that because she misses giving them?
Dr0reos 8
I need blow jobs to survive (because of my severe asthma)... pervs
Andrew910 5
I guess she might call a ******** an inhaler.
JoeRogansBEARD 15
The customer is always right, right?
DKjazz 20
She's either hard of hearing, or an elderly troll.
rattusrattus 19
I bet elderly troll. There are always the slightly mad old ladies who enjoy embarressing the whippersnappers.
sandinthewaves 5
I hope you gave her a ********.
NOOBSQUAD 0
OP better of, cause if I was that old lady I would have hit OP with my purse and yell rape.
botanistjessica 24
^ I can't see at all how this is relevant.
music_woman1 11
Old lady: 1 OP: 0
wastingtimeonFML 7
I say she's messing with you.