Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a 3-year-old threw an egg at me from his cart. I couldn't leave my register to clean my hair because it was too busy, so when the new manager came in, he wrote me up for "unkempt appearance." Now my new hire probation period is extended 30 days, and my nickname is "Egghead." FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML
Today, I was waitressing at the diner and a guy ordered two eggs, one scrambled and one poached. He hurled his plate at me angrily because they "scrambled the egg he wanted poached and poached the egg he wanted scrambled." He stormed out without paying. FML
Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I guess you were walking on eggshells after that.
revan546 24
I thought it was an eggcellent pun OP
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Comments (89)
popprock 13
What a jerk. He needs to chill out just a tad.
ohSNAPyall 27
Can't cook an omelet without breaking a few eggs!
fearlesscooldude 12
He sounded really eggry
CyberGothic 16
Your typical low intelligence type doesn't like being shown up. And in my experience, a depressingly high percentage of people you'll run into on the average day are the low intelligence type. Chive on...
glabberfasted 16
It's an even higher percentage when your day is spent in a Walmart
stormchaser24 24
My first job was Walmart. Customers like that are a weekly event. I had one pull a knife on my manager because we had no paper plates left.
EndOfSekrets 13
Welcome to the wild world of Walmartians!!
hesmith63 2
Dont let one bad "egg" stop you OP, most people appreciate humor like that.
dawsonstar 15
First mistake: getting a job at wal-mart
slyde32 12
yes, no one looking for work should ever accept a job offer when it arises
ohSNAPyall 27
Your customer also needs a carton of smokes.
ohSNAPyall 27
A down voted comment! I have egg on my face.
alicat13 12
YDI - Never use puns or similar humor on people who dont know you, especially if they are customers or someone helping you.
91hayek 31
Sometimes it works but I get what you mean. If you're having a bad day the last thing you want is a pun and the the person saying standing there cheesily grinning or wiggling their eyebrows in self satisfaction. That's when you give them a pun of your own with ch on the end.
zombraingirl 11
Obviously this man has mental issues to go and threaten to kill the OP. Any person in the right mind would at least awkward laugh.