Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, a 3-year-old threw an egg at me from his cart. I couldn't leave my register to clean my hair because it was too busy, so when the new manager came in, he wrote me up for "unkempt appearance." Now my new hire probation period is extended 30 days, and my nickname is "Egghead." FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML
Today, I was waitressing at the diner and a guy ordered two eggs, one scrambled and one poached. He hurled his plate at me angrily because they "scrambled the egg he wanted poached and poached the egg he wanted scrambled." He stormed out without paying. FML
Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I guess you were walking on eggshells after that.
revan546 24
I thought it was an eggcellent pun OP
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Comments (89)
SmoothPancakes 10
The threatening to kill, way overboard on the reaction. As for you making the pun and his response, eh, you deserved it. When I go to a store, I'm just trying to get my stuff and get out, the less time spent with the idiots of the general public, the better. So when I have to deal with forced chit chat or something like a worker deciding to say puns when all I'm looking for is a simple answer so I can be on my way, it wears extremely thin and bound to put me in a foul mood. I wouldn't go as far as this guy did with threatening to kill you. but you would absolutely get the glare of death from me. And if the glare proved not to be enough, I certainly would have more than a few choice words to follow it up with.
ileenefudge 29
You don't sound like a happy person but in a way I agree with you. There is a time and place for puns and jokes. When I'm in a bad mood the last thing I want is an employee of the store cracking stupid jokes at me when I'm trying to ask about something serious or not. Even if it's customer service at Walmart, you should hold a certain level of professionalism, and watch what you say around the customers. OP has a great sense of humor but just going around making random puns and jokes don't make everyone laugh and some people , even those who give the awkward laugh, may think he's weird and maybe not mature enough to hold a job when he's supposed to be serious at times. Just my opinion though.
cryssycakesx3 23
I agree about not being in the mood, but it's not like op wasted his time. his stupid word, I guess we're calling it a pun, didn't take anymore extra time than if he would have just said "ecstatic"
Sassie8810 9
Wow, you sound like a fun person.
worldclassrager 41
Oh Come On...I Would Have Loved To Hear That...It Depends Who You Get But Usually You Can Get Away With It...This Time Not So Much...Better Luck Next Time OP
TJStarzZ 8
But you were simply trying to be an eggcellent employee...
berry999 14
Give it time the life will be sucked out of you soon. I know from experience.
Curlytwirly22 17
Some people are just crazy like that OP don't worry about it
Nyarlothatep 12
Threatening to kill you was an ovary egg-streme pun-ishment..
Fas4wd 13
If Walmart is anything like British superstores and if the public are half as ignorant over here your gusto will die a sad and premature death pretty soon. Get all your puns out while you can.
darkfireflame 15
Welcome to being a minimum wage peon.
brandoneyez1 25
Guess he didn't think it was very punny!!!
type1diabetic 12
Haha! If you said that to me I would laugh. I don't know what's wrong with him though :/