Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at work, a 3-year-old threw an egg at me from his cart. I couldn't leave my register to clean my hair because it was too busy, so when the new manager came in, he wrote me up for "unkempt appearance." Now my new hire probation period is extended 30 days, and my nickname is "Egghead." FML
Today, while at work at my grocery store I sold a TON of eggs to a bunch of kids. We joked around that they were "going to bake a giant cake." When I got home I found out someone had egged my house. FML
Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML
Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
Today, we were running a special at work that I had previously been told was an online-only special. After the general manager corrected me, I used the joke excuse of, "It's my first day". The customer replied, "I can tell". I've worked there two years and I'm the assistant manager. FML
Today, I started my first day at a job. First thing my manager does is ask me if I knew the fastest way to kill someone there, then told me with a straight face all of what would occur when dumping a person's head into the deep fryer. Then the psycho assigned me to the fry station. FML
Today, I was at work at a local hot dog chain. A child (about 10, who I've seen there before) came in to order food for his Dad. He orders very excitedly, and I told him he'd be a great worker here when he gets older. He said "oh no, my Dad says I'm too smart to work in a place like this." FML
Today, I was waitressing at the diner and a guy ordered two eggs, one scrambled and one poached. He hurled his plate at me angrily because they "scrambled the egg he wanted poached and poached the egg he wanted scrambled." He stormed out without paying. FML
Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
I guess you were walking on eggshells after that.
revan546 24
I thought it was an eggcellent pun OP
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Comments (89)
copydude 7
Dude you live in Louisiana, they don't have enough collective brain cells to get your joke!
DirtyBlackSocks 1
Yup, sounds like walmart.
fristinkristin 16
Walmart people......
workingzombie13 6
its just the beginning get out while you still have a soul in you. walmart and the people who shop there will rob you of everything you have inside you i know I've worked there for 10 yrs now
JohnnyRae 3
You should've said it'd be EGGcellent
frances1942 10
That just cracks my up XD!!!
Violet_Embers95 22
I know how you feel. I worked at Walmart for a while. Not only were customers rude to me but I was punched in the stomach twice, kicked in the shins, and slapped across the face.
aishah77 21
But that's so Punny
be82tw 17
Great. Now we shell never here the end of these puns. But honestly they crack me up.