Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML
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Top comments
SeahorseGuy 7
Dude, that's why I don't play football. That must have hurt. Hope you are feeling better.
Kiki242 19
That's one of the ultimate FMLs for a guy.
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Comments (141)
annie_nk 23
If that happened in Rugby, I think a bit more damage would be done. Or maybe not because of the extra weight from the padding in football. Either way, FYL OP. I've had a tilted pelvis and sitting down from that excruciating. I can't image the pain and healing time from a cracked pelvis. :( And I've gone through child birth!
spacemanspiff78 7
You were obviously up too high. Didn't your coach teach you "low man wins?"
coughyochick 7
Cups don't do anything anyways. You can still feel the pain. It's like a knee pad, for you "man junk"
FMLpunster 7
He really 'boned' ya
ethan_nelson61 4
Why would you wear a protective cup in football? Makes no sense. It limits your range of motion. That's why our team is specifically told NOT to wear a cup.
kraz8 1
This guy is right, you only wear the strap for support and protection, you don't wear the cup. Anyone who's played knows this. Calling bullshit on this one.
combatbunny 9
No body deserves this...
KweenChelly 6
Damn no sex for you for..... Awhile....
Mr_Rhinoceros 5
Wow I start football in a week, this is reassuring. And there's no bone just blood vessels.
brettrb 18
He means the pubic bone. The top lip of a cup sits against your pubic bone.
buckerado 19
That's why I stopped wearing cups. They only do more damage.
justen27 7
Thats y u dont wear a cup. I lnow the feeling except my cup shaterd