Today, I asked my husband if it was a good time to think about having kids. His response was, "ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NEVER." I’ve always wanted to be a mom and he knows that. I feel like I’ve wasted my life. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my husband if we could start talking about kids. He said sure, so we talked about kids. Then I asked if we could maybe start trying to have kids, and he said, “Absolutely fucking not, are you mad? What’s wrong with you?” FML
Today, after spending a great day with my nieces, I turned to my husband to ask him if maybe we should start trying to get pregnant like we both agreed we wanted to multiple times. Before the words even left my mouth he said, “God they were exhausting, thank God were not having kids.” FML
Today, we saw a woman with two out-of-control children. As we walked away, my husband said to me, “Disgusting, I’m glad we’re never having children.” News to me, he'd always said he wanted a kid before we married. An uncomfortable conversation is imminent, damn it. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML
Today, I was advised to never have kids because they ruin your life, ruin your body, cost you money, stress you out, and the end result is they become an adult you don’t even really like or would choose to spend time with if you weren’t related. It was both my parents who gave me this advice. FML
Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML
Today, my husband told me he'd changed his mind and no longer wants children. We already have two kids. FML
Today, I told my mom I was thinking of having a baby. She told me it was a huge mistake because children cost a fortune, make you miserable, and if she'd had her chance again she would have gotten her tubes tied when she was 18 and saved herself the grief. Gee, thanks mom. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he might want kids one day, and he most definitely does not. In fact, he even thanked me for reminding him we need to stock up on condoms when we go shopping, plus he’s even considering a vasectomy just to make sure. I’m already pregnant. FML
Today, my wife and I have been in the same massive argument for two weeks. We agreed when we were dating that we couldn’t think of anything worse than having kids, we married on the basis we would never want kids. Now, a year later, she wants a baby. FML
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Top comments
Renee Simard 7
Why would you not know this BEFORE you married him?? 😳
ojoRojo 27
I would highly recommend marriage counseling if you’re not ready to give up just yet. Don’t give up on your dream - if he’s not willing to have kids with you, there’s someone out there who will!
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Comments (8)
TomeDr 25
You might actually be able to get an annulment if you married him with the understanding that you both wanted children and he unilaterally decided against it.
ojoRojo 27
I would highly recommend marriage counseling if you’re not ready to give up just yet. Don’t give up on your dream - if he’s not willing to have kids with you, there’s someone out there who will!
Renee Simard 7
Why would you not know this BEFORE you married him?? 😳
Hangryko 32
It sounds like he changed his mind without notice.
thomasthedankengine 11
based husband
Hangryko 32
Not for OP.
DanielleinDC 34
Did he never want kids or did he change his mind? Either way, it sucks for you, and you can either divorce him or accept that you won't be a mom.
QueenSaru 28
This. It's hard to tell if OP's husband was on board (or ambivalent) when they got married, and due to the state of things (their lives/financial situations, the world, etc) has just decided it's no longer a thing he wants. OP you need to sit down with him (preferably with a neutral third party) and find out if this is something that can be worked through. If it's not, you have to decide what you want more: kids or him. Either decision is okay as long as it's what you truly want.
bleachedraven 14
If husband said he wanted kids and changed his mind, I sympathize with you...if you just assumed, I would still feel bad for you, but ydi
Bogrbon 27
Given the emphasis on that comment, I wonder if it depended on when you asked him and what else is going on in the marriage. There are a lot of factors, especially finances. We both want kids, but when I see my wife went out and spent 2-3x the monthly budget on random clothes or bath mats or whatever, it really makes me think if we can afford to have kids, since we’re trying to save to help with any future baby expenses, home repairs, or buying a larger home etc. You need to communicate and understand why he doesn’t want kids, especially if you had that conversation going in to the marriage and he used to. Is something wrong in your relationship and he does my know if it will last and doesn’t wants of child support? Is he worried about paying for kids? Is he feeling overwhelmed with the potential increase in domestic responsibilities? Or does he really just not like kids, in which case you have tough decisions ahead. As others have stated, marriage counseling is not a bad idea if you can’t communicate about it clearly.
1known 34
Don’t put all the blame on OP. Even if her husband is worried by something, he should NEVER talk to her that way. Nobody deserves such a violent answer. Him too should make some efforts to understand her feelings and demands. So, OP, either your husband is a really great guy and is ready to work it out. Either he’s always that violent and, as difficult as it is, you might want to protect yourself and think about leaving him.
Kimberly Cissell 2
How was that violent? Maybe it was frustration. We don’t have enough data to know. It is possible that OP knows her husband doesn’t want to have kids and she has been bringing it up a lot lately.
QueenSaru 28
Without knowing his tone, we have no idea whether he just said flatly, "Absolutely ******* never." You're assigning things to him that may not be true. I feel like if he had yelled at her she would have said so specifically.
Nhayaa2.0 17
If he knew you wanted kids, you should have known as well that he didn't. And if not, it's kinda like YDI for assuming he wanted kids and never really talked about it. Or am I missing something here? 🤔