Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML
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Top comments
SeahorseGuy 7
Dude, that's why I don't play football. That must have hurt. Hope you are feeling better.
Kiki242 19
That's one of the ultimate FMLs for a guy.
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Comments (141)
pantherprincess 6
Op FYI there's no bone in the penis. You probably cracked your pelvic bone , which isn't very fun. Hope things heal fast enough. Have a great season.
saksxalmo 20
Um, he never said he cracked his penis. He said he cracked a bone in his groin, i.e. the pelvic or public bone...
brookemurray17 5
How did he shoulder your groin...?
2aw3som3 4
He was probably cutting
PikachuBuddy 8
0.o
skyeyez9 25
This reminded me of the news story of the parents of a 6ft2 297lb 7th grader who were pissed cause he is too big to play for the local peewee football league. This is the exact reason why he can't play. Imagine a 297lb person slamming full force into your 97lb 5ft tall 7th grader. He'd shatter bones after tackling his much smaller peers.
SpokenReasons 0
there is no bone in the talywacker OP you uneducated kid
highway_unicorn7 5
Just tell people it was your upper thigh.
TabooSushi 24
I find it alarming that so many people here keep assuming this person is dumb enough to think there is a bone in his penis. >.> Or perhaps THEY'RE the morons for assuming that in the first place and not realizing that the "groin" area isn't just the "fun" part. People have pubic and pelvic bones in that area, and I'm sure that if one of these was cracked then the OP went to a doctor, so he quite obviously knew this by the time he got to posting this FML if he didn't before. Geez, people, there's this thing you should do with your brain before you speak. It's called thinking.
dylanmellark101 5
I just covered my spot. And I'm a girl
tressie_fml 6
The only thing that I've seen that's more horrible than this is when a guy tore his scrotum open and required stitches.
TREEBISCUIT 3
Do they use jocks in the US? Where I am there's nothing protecting your crotch when you play football... It always seemed stupid.