Today, at football practice, the biggest lineman shouldered me so hard in the groin that my protective cup pushed back with enough force to crack the bone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at football practice, a 200lb lineman ended up landing on my stomach. The weight made me shit myself. My new nickname is "Muddbutt". FML
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, against the will of the kids in my class, we played kick ball. The first time I rolled the ball, the tallest, biggest kid kicked it as hard as he could. I caught it though, with my nuts. FML
Today, I fractured my tibia, fibula, and tore a tendon in my ankle. How? You might ask. By stepping in a hole at soccer practice. Now I’ll be out for the entire season with months of rehab. FML
Today, I was running down the hallway when a door opens and hits me right on the face. I'm sitting there with my nose bleeding and a huge bump forming on my head. The guy who comes out is hugely fat, tries to help me up, trips, and falls on me. I accidentally groped his moobs while trying to push him off. FML
Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML
Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML
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Top comments
SeahorseGuy 7
Dude, that's why I don't play football. That must have hurt. Hope you are feeling better.
Kiki242 19
That's one of the ultimate FMLs for a guy.
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Comments (141)
astralvagan 20
It's nothing to lose your marbles over. Put some ice on it and it will get better.... That's what coach always told us, and it usually worked
little_one 20
Ice pack and tasty treat all in one! Nothing like fresh balls sweat to make any ice cream treat sweet and delicious!
kailsey 5
Oh no.....poor baby...i really hope you have a speedy recovery
tdunc34 2
Get ur shoulders lower, no way a lineman should be getting lower
Hockeyboy4280 18
Could have ruptured your scrotum like in Blitz the League 2.
brian_b005 3
Hopefully your testicles don't swell up like a balloons
heythere131630 9
I really don't think "ouch" covers it.
tne201992 12
Wow I just twitched reading this! Worse pain for us guys.
andiewithlove 21
On the bright side, now maybe some girls will......sign your cast;D
Stoopid_life 2
Oooh that would hurt and I shuddered when I read this and im a girl.
EthanQHarris 3
I play football, who the hell wears cups?
Hockeyboy4280 18
People that want to carry on the family name. I've played every sport including being a QB in football, and I always wear a cup. A lot of hockey teammates go without a cup which is beyond me. Seriously, once you pop those boys, they're gone. I've taken some fierce baseball line drives, hockey slap shots, soccer balls, etc... and I always find myself thanking God that i wore a cup. A broken arm can heal, a seperated shoulder can be snapped back into place, a concussion will heal in time, but a ruptured scrotum and/or ball is forever.
mal2012 4
Where are you playing football, dear? You should always wear a cup! The above commenter explained it well! ^^
junkman6 22
QB wearing a cup!? Jesus Christ kids these days need to cowboy the f*** up. Its football not patty cake mothers little children. Very few people I know who play football wear cups. Things get in the damn way. Especially if your a QB dropping back... A cup makes absolutely no sense for a QB.
Hockeyboy4280 18
Thanks 54! 62- Okay tough guy. Football is quite possibly the dirtiest cheap-shot sport around. Players have no problem taking free shots if they know they won't be caugh by the refst, TRUST ME. Dropping back with a cup? When 2 or 3 linebackers are blitzing me, the last thing I'm worried about is "is this cup pinching me?". And not only that, but if you wear a good sized cup that fits well, it doesn't limit mobility at all.
junkman6 22
Lmao cups throw off the drop back period. Dan Marino, John Elway, etc etc. didn't wear cups. If your an option quarterback sure whatever wear a cup you probably don't know how to drop back properly anyway. Side note if your team let the other team get away with cheap shotting their QB I'm guessing you were a douche. Cheapshots bought people a one way ticket to the sidelines courtesy of one of my linemen.
brettrb 18
Yes true, but 90% of pros dont wear cups. Or thigh pads. Hell some dont even wear knee pads!