Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
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Top comments
katelng09 16
That's why you're supposed to sneeze into your elbow.
delichick 27
Agrees with the other comments, sneeze into your elbow. Do you not have tissues with you? I dont always have tissues but Ive kept restaurant napkins in my backpack or in my pockets just in case. Put yourself in another persons shoes, would you shake hands with someone who just sneezed into their hand?
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Comments (52)
katelng09 16
That's why you're supposed to sneeze into your elbow.
FarmerGirl420 11
Always carry hand sanitizer.
niftyismybitch 21
or armpit..
AverageAvarice 23
I sneeze into my shirt, I can't afford to have dirty forearms.
OrganicSistah 17
That is why you should sneeze into your sleeve. How were you planning to wash your hands afterwards??
UrinatingPandas 12
I've had this happen to me before just smile wide and say it's hand sanitizer
PainInTheAsss 16
Are you Satin?
Lalala579121 28
I would say 3 is probably more velvet than satin.
19teej96 19
#22 definitely an underrated comment haha.
IDontKnowaName73 17
I don't believe fabric can type
whatoftoday 6
Satan?
delichick 27
Agrees with the other comments, sneeze into your elbow. Do you not have tissues with you? I dont always have tissues but Ive kept restaurant napkins in my backpack or in my pockets just in case. Put yourself in another persons shoes, would you shake hands with someone who just sneezed into their hand?
crudeandrudeguy 29
Meh, Love thy neighbour with some greasy snot
Welshite 40
Don't worry, the power of prayer will cure all sickness so the priest won't catch your cold. At least, that's what I was taught. Maybe I don't pray hard enough...
AssCancer 5
Well I was gonna comment inb4 gaytheists but you're already here
AssCancer 5
Well since my comment was moderated, I won't be so "mean", I was gonna say inb4 dumb atheists but you're already here
BoxFullOfLazy 25
In which case you simply say sorry, that you just sneezed into your hand, and maybe awkwardly offer your other hand.
Welshite 40
Shaking with the left hand is simply not done. You use your right foot instead.
tintarroja 31
What did you do: shake hands or excuse yourself?
ZacIngmire 7
Your fault for going to church.
KayPlay 19
Use your other hand then!
stevenN659 24
it is considered rude to offer your left hand. people in the victorian era used to wipe their ass with their left hand.
saffy66 34
I'm pretty sure they'd understand, since they were right there to witness the sneeze. This isn't the Victorian era now.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
19, that's the dumbest shit I have ever heard.