Today, at church, I sneezed suddenly and messily into my hand just as the priest asked us to stand and greet our neighbors with a handshake. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at church, while everyone was shaking hands and saying, “Peace be with you” to one another, a man took out hand sanitizer and washed his hands after he shook mine. And only mine. FML
Today, while meeting some of the big boss guys at my new job, one of the men sneezed on his hand and then grabbed mine for a handshake. I felt every gooey bit of his snot between our hands. FML
Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML
Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML
Today, I went back to work after being sick for a week. While I was gone, they hired a new manager. Trying to score bonus points, and possibly a raise, I went to shake her hand and introduce myself. Just as I was about to say, "Hello, my name is…" I sneezed right in her face. FML
Today, while I was working the drive-thru window, a customer sneezed into his hand and then handed me his money. FML
Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML
Today, on the drive to church, I got a nosebleed. Not so bad, until I sneezed and splattered myself and my fiancé with blood, snot, and eventually tears. FML
Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
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Top comments
katelng09 16
That's why you're supposed to sneeze into your elbow.
delichick 27
Agrees with the other comments, sneeze into your elbow. Do you not have tissues with you? I dont always have tissues but Ive kept restaurant napkins in my backpack or in my pockets just in case. Put yourself in another persons shoes, would you shake hands with someone who just sneezed into their hand?
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Comments (52)
kitsuneluvuh 12
Okay. So, point to you for covering your mouth. Minus one point for using your hand, instead of the crook or your elbow. The timing, though... that's priceless.
justsaiyan 6
Satan strikes again. This time in a Holy place. Or is it really…?
RosaMaravillosa 10
LMAOROTF!!!!!!
geniusness 6
Snot funny at all.
TAntobella 14
F your neighbour's life.
marchbunny 6
You have two hands, mate.
xoteeshaox 22
Anyone saying use your elbows....yes, whilst that is correct, this was a sudden sneeze, and you don't necessarily think about that when it hits you with no warning. At least it was their hand, and not into the open air. As for shaking hands, I would've offered my other hand, and if sneezed it both, apologise and excuse yourself to wash your hands.
BabeSlave97 12
Im sure people would understand if you apologized and explained that you sneezed into your hand, anyone within hand reach probably heard the sneeze
svalencia25107 6
thats why you have two hands
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Use the other hand? Or, like others have said, sneeze into your elbow.