Anonymous
Iceland
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
sucker and suckatash/say don't spray
Pearl City, United States
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Sarri
Pembroke, United States
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Anonymous
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
Hack
Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Chill out, dude
Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML
northernlass
United States
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
OliviaO
United States
Performative
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Been there, done that
Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML
Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.
Lennes 12
It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.
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Comments (87)
SeepingSarcasm 7
Grab some puppets, shove your hand up their asses and give them some decent catch-phrases...or rather just keep silent, that crowd will kill you!
Pix3lJunk 12
I had a dog called Joke a car drove over it and Joke ends. Bu dum tsss... Dodge chair.
Shmatterhorn 38
But you get hit with the thumbs down for that extremely poor taste in humor.
xRezSynn 15
I'm guessing that's the point...hopefully.
buckdharma 38
You misread the crowd vibe! They wanted you to do your Clint Eastwood empty chair routine.
victus 14
so, Mr. President, how has your day been?
reynechristine 15
Sorry about that OP, people suck.
CueTheMusic 22
Happens to the best. Keep your spirits up and keep going, you'll get there one day. Plenty of now world famous comics say people thought they sucked at the beginning.
spikekutter 9
thats when you pick it up and throw it back at them and laugh..
Shmatterhorn 38
I can understand booing, but chair tossing is not good. I hope that that guy got himself tossed out of the club.
andyyroxx 20
And the memories of Spongebob flood my mind again...
alycion 39
Suddenly my habit of throwing shoes doesn't seem so bad. Thanks for finally proving the saying that everybody is a comedian wrong.
victus 14
do you throw your shoes or other people's shoes?
whY402Jay 12
Keep your day job or work on your presentation.