Anonymous
Iceland
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
sucker and suckatash/say don't spray
Pearl City, United States
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Sarri
Pembroke, United States
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Anonymous
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
Hack
Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Chill out, dude
Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML
northernlass
United States
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
OliviaO
United States
Performative
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Been there, done that
Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML
Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.
Lennes 12
It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.
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Comments (87)
oj101 33
It would be funnier to see someone get pelted with tomatoes than listen to cliché jokes at a grimy stand up gig.
PrincessLiLi_fml 7
That's hilarious, tell another!
Megan98 18
That is when I would've laughed.
kaycol 8
Someone call Tosh.0 for op
PenguinBitch 44
I really wished they had tomatoes. You see, I wasn't allowed in any of the acts but instead, I was put to clean the stage after the show was over. I thought I would have won the crowd over with my cleaning skills.
PenguinBitch 44
You know what stinks OP? Your act!! ...that was a terrible joke I'm sorry. *drops microphone*
muffinlovexD 12
Aw man! Don't give up! Gotta have hope, just like Dee Renolds from Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia. :p
BellaFurfaro 12
Drunks, gotta love 'em.
Bigger_than_Jesu 5
You didn't end your jokes by saying "it's funny because...", did you? I did once and had an ottoman thrown at me, but never a chair.
need2sleep 15
Maybe he thought your jokes would be funnier if you were sitting down!