Anonymous
Iceland
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
sucker and suckatash/say don't spray
Pearl City, United States
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Sarri
Pembroke, United States
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Anonymous
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
Hack
Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Chill out, dude
Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML
northernlass
United States
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
OliviaO
United States
Performative
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Been there, done that
Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML
Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.
Lennes 12
It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.
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Comments (87)
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.
imaginaryvoice 18
Take the hint...
ColdplaySucks 18
OP should watch some Aziz Ansari or David Chapelle stand ups for some real comedy.
lilhellian 27
Hell Op should come on to the comment section here.. The worst that could happen here is downvotes...
perdix 31
#1, no, give up right away. The crowd at open-mic night are a bunch of cheapskates with a high tolerance for crap. Don't quit your day job.
ThePsyche 9
34- maybe op should try a movie theatre. heck free popcorn?
sens3sfailing 25
I know it comes down to taste and everyone's is different. But to me, aziz ansari just isn't funny. He comes off like a 4 year old begging for attention but sucks at it. Don't get me wrong, most comedians are begging for attention also, I just find their jokes better.
LarryLaDouche 13
Don't worry, It's not just you. Aziz couldn't make me laugh if I was doped up on ecstasy, and he tickled my ass with a feather.
RpiesSPIES 27
#1, I find it mean that you want OP to have a thrown chair hit him.
txgirl2013 14
Maybe you should try doing something else. But don't lose hope!!!
oj101 33
Michael McIntire spent years trying to break into comedy with great difficulty - look where he is now! Plus, if OP needs some help, try this joke - "What do you get if you come across a snowman and a vampire?" "A frostbite".
lilhellian 27
50 Are we gonna see an FML from FML about FML partying to hard and getting so wasted tomorrow?:O
dav3800 7
Wanna hear a better joke? Women's rights! *gets chair thrown at*
gc327072 31
*yawn* oh was that supposed to be edgy?
spaboolly 26
If you want a better joke, just look at your sex life.
lilhellian 27
The contradiction is how does 29 and 36 gets before 11.. Am I the only one to see this happening here?
etchsanity1 11
I guess 11 rewrote or something the mobile app saved her spot but several others posted to the page before she finally did
lilhellian 27
There's atleast 20 minutes between 11, 29 and 36
Lennes 12
It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.
Satoaoi 13
yes props indeed
perdix 31
#4, #20, NOOOOO! Don't encourage him! I've been to lots of open-mic nights. Most people who go up and stink face an audience either (ee) fuming in awkward boredom or starting to converse loudly with their table. You have to do something awful to incite violence, so he needs to quit for his own safety!
PenguinBitch 44
28-"Props" Hmmm no. OP shouldn't follow Carrot Top's path. That'll be horrible!
mkcontrollers 11
Well FYL OP. what I want to know is did the chair hit you?
waterkins 7
Maybe you should throw the chair back at him
U_GotitDude 18
9 times out of 10 That won't end well.
LaLince 40
YDI for being boring on stage.
howdeedoo 22
I don't think that merits having a chair thrown at you...
lilhellian 27
Your comment bored me 10.. *Throws chair at 10*
Tdrizzzzzly 19
Yeah, 10, how do you feel now, even YOU have been chair-thrown at!
clairelolz 5
Wow i don't know anyone who actually goes up to an open mic. YDI
jessughka 10
I'm going to watch an open mic comedy tomorrow night, it's a good time.
gc327072 31
No!!! Comment 3 was deleted :( I had such a good comeback on the replies.... Oh mods, why?
GayMatt 22
atleast you tried :)