Anonymous
Iceland
Today, at an open mic comedy club, my jokes went down so poorly that someone decided to hurl a chair at me on-stage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was kicked out of a comedy club for laughing too loudly. FML
sucker and suckatash/say don't spray
Pearl City, United States
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
Sarri
Pembroke, United States
Today, I worked up the courage to sing at an open mic night. I lost my cool halfway through because all I could hear was laughter. FML
Anonymous
Too challenging for you? That's my job! I'm an edgy comedian!
Today, I was feeling down so my husband took me to a comedy show. This comedian saw me, heckled me for a full two minutes, then returned to me a further three times during his act to mock me again, zeroing in on every one of my insecurities until I left crying, feeling worse than ever. FML
Anonymous
Manchester, United Kingdom
Hack
Today, my son invited me to his first standup comedy gig. I accepted, only to later suffer through an hour of the worst jokes I've heard in my entire life. It was so bad, he made Dane Cook look like a comic genius, and I had to resist heckling him. Hours later, I still feel vaguely suicidal. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Chill out, dude
Today, I was lectured about how emotionally immature I am by someone who, afterwards, promptly threw a chair out of anger. FML
northernlass
United States
Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML
OliviaO
United States
Performative
Today, I laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted, which caused me to choke on my Coke, which then caused me to fall off my chair. The joke wasn’t even that funny. FML
Anonymous
Houston, United States
Been there, done that
Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML
Top comments
UnearthlyEnemy 9
Harsh crowd. Maybe you should try another gig, another place, another crowd. It'll hit eventually! Keep trying.
Lennes 12
It's difficult to speak in front of people, especially on a stage. Props to you. Most people don't have the guts for it.
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Comments (87)
cuponoodles34 10
don't quit your day job
jgriff79 23
He gave you a Bobby Knight standing ovation.
Amama_fml 30
At first, I read this wrong, I thought it said chain and I was like "how awful!" Then, I noticed it really says chair. Now i'm not really sure that's much of an improvement. I'm sorry OP, better luck next time!
dav3800 7
Ouch. At least you know not to use those jokes anymore. If you do, you might take a chair to the face.
lenor_fml 7
maybe if you stop reciting the fish list people would laugh
Born2die 11
I miss the old-fashioned rotten tomatoes
doritowhore 9
Should've pulled out your phone and read them some FMLs, people love laughing at other people's misfortunes...:D
perdix 31
Wow, almost everyone stinks at open-mic night. Usually, the crowd ignores you until the management flashes you the light, thus ending your delusion that you could be a comic. You must have been beyond bad -- you were probably blatantly offensive. Did you use the n-word or something?
Jordath_Fil 11
Perhaps you should change your jokes? The ones you're using don't seem to be working out...
medichick 5
Well FYL for have the courage to go up there. But, YDI for not having better jokes. Practice!